Son's behaviour gone down since starting school.

[naomiw87]

I am feeling a little bit stressed about this. My son started school this month and his behaviour has just gone terrible. He's become really moody and has started having lots of tantrums again.
I am currently 27 weeks pregnant with our 3rd baby and I am just dreading the baby while he is being like this.
Is this just normal for him starting school? I didn't have this trouble with our daughter.

Its one of the things they don't warn you.
My belief is that children go through a "naughty stage" at about 5.

He may be tired - so try to cut down on activities. He may be hungry and dehydrated when he comes home - so have food and drink available ASAP (a banana in your bag might be a good idea). He may be massively over stimulated - so ignoring the behaviour, and getting him home and to have some chill out time might help.

I think you were lucky with your DD. Maybe she is more of an extrovert?

Thanks for the advice. I will take a banana and a drink with me tomorrow, then get him to sit quietly when he gets home.
When my daughter started school I had a lot going on as my mum was ill with cancer. So in all fairness her starting school has become a bit of blur, but I do remember there were comments that her behaviour was poor at school. Whereas this time my son's behaviour is great at school and poor at home. I am really hoping it settles by December.

Oh I much prefer poor at home and great at school. The other way round is harder (especially when they ask you how to deal with something you don't see).

Yes, sounds normal to me. By the end of the first term my daughter threw herself on the floor and had a full on tantrum like she hadn't done since being a toddler. They get exhausted, everything is new and they are trying to be on their best behaviour at school.

When we had our first parents evening they commented that she had gone from being helpful and willing to do everything to saying 'no I don't want to'. I said that that sounded pretty normal to me - that was her behaviour at home more of the time.

The first term was the worst, things improved as her stamina improved.

Thank you for this thread. I feel powerless. Ds is angelic at school and at least is happy to go and seems to enjoy it. But at home I am convinced he actually hates me. Quiet, aloof, asks for anyone/ everyone other than me, tells me he doesn't like me/ love me and that I'm the worst parent in the world (his actual words). When I collected him from his cm yesterday he was crying, by the time I got him home 20 mins later he was still crying for a reason that wouldn't normally bother him remotely. I've gone from being the most important person in his life to someone he barely tolerates and who is there to serve his needs. Screaming when he doesn't get his own way or we dare to say no, being cheeky and answering back, objecting to every little request. It's like living with an angry drunken dwarf. Joking aside I'm trying so hard to remember I'm the adult and he doesn't mean what he says but my feelings are hurt several times every day and I've been moved to tears on occasion too. It's like he thinks that being grown up equates to doing what you damn well please, but he's also desperately clinging to his baby things.

Sorry. I feel better having got that off my chest.

Sorry you are having this trouble to littlelionmansmummy it's so frustrating. I can see it in my son's face when he gets out of school. Feel like screaming sometimes. Think it's been more annoying because people have said how his behaviour would settle once he started school. I think it is mostly tiredness, so hopefully once he gets used to going it should settle down.

Yes! Dd was vile. I took her to the park religiously on the way home to run it off.

Thanks naomi, it's definitely tiredness as he gradually gets worse the longer the week goes on. We've moved his bedtime forward which is helping a bit. Yesterday when I collected him from his cm he was actually pleased/ excited to see me He sat silently in the car (this used to be virtually unheard of) and didn't want to talk about anything. I was very patient and tried out a few conversations - in the end the thing that sparked him into conversation was a throw away comment about an animal (ds loves animals). His spark came back for a while. I asked him if he just wanted cuddles with me on the sofa in front of the tv. Turns out that was just the tonic for both of us

It's a long and intense week for them and they're getting challenged physically, mentally and emotionally. I just had no idea it would be so demanding - he's practically breezed through every other new experience in his life so far.

My DD's behaviour is incredibly up and down. She's always had big swings from high to low, but it's been insane since she started school. Screaming, crying, meltdowns etc. but also big energetic highs and unable to settle to sleep easily, very wired in the evening.

DS is a very different child but we also had extremes of his behavioural traits when he started school.

I'm hoping she gets better after half term like he did because she's not the only one exhausted by it all at home! Even the baby doesn't bat an eyelid when she starts screeching or sobbing anymore!

My adorable, angelic DD turned into a monster on starting school. I had to give her a banana or flapjack as soon as she came out as otherwise she couldn't manage the 0.75 mile walk home; tea was brought forward from 5.30 - 4.30 and bed from 7.30 - 6.15. She had to go to the cm twice a week but, on "my" days, we watched a lot of TV. Ballet & gymnastics were suspended for a term & the teachers were completely understanding as they came across it so often. Her behaviour got even worse towards the end of term but was fine in January.
In the meantime, she was beautifully behaved at school, learning really quickly etc. I think that she was trying so hard at school that she was exhausted & being on best behaviour so much that she just needed to unleash her emotions.

I think it's entirely normal.

They have had to follow instructions, concentrate, sit still, behave, listen and be with 29 other kids in a stimulating, new environment for 6 hours. When they see Mum or Dad they unleash all their pent-up emotions.

They are exhausted and overstimulated.

They are probably hungry and thirsty.

They need calm.

They may need physical release (depending on energy levels, personality).

My DCs are very different but in reception I basically kept after-school stuff to an absolute minimum, we had lots of quiet time at home after school, playground if they fancied it and if weather was nice, a bit of screen time, and early to bed. After a few weeks or months I'm certain it'll improve. It's a huge thing, starting school.

Good luck!