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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

So, how DO you get a 2yr old to walk nicely?

29 replies

museumum · 15/09/2015 16:44

DS age 2 has been able to walk from 11mo. He can walk far. If he wants. But I cannot get him to hold hands, walk beside me, not sit down while crossing the road....

Any trip where I let him walk at all starts with gentle coaxing in my direction, loads of patience and discussing whatever catches his eye but despite this it always ends with warnings then him being bundled home under my arm or into the buggy. It's horrible

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Verbena37 · 15/09/2015 18:35

To reduce the tension, why not use reins to start with? I wouldn't trust a two year old to walk nicely. At that age, they don't and cannot easily understand road safety.

Once on reins, you can then observe more easily and help him along, holding hands, telling him stop etc.

In time, as he gets older, you could then do little tests on very quiet paths to see how he gets on. I did the super nanny techinque of playing the stopping game, which worked really well for both of mine. You tell them they have to stop whenever you say stop. If they don't stop, they go back onto reins.

RandomMess · 15/09/2015 18:39

I didn't bother with the coaxing etc., it was do as they were told or pushchair. Very quickly learned I meant it!

captainproton · 15/09/2015 18:40

reins!

anythingicando · 15/09/2015 18:42

Same as random - if you don't hold my hand, you go in the pushchair/sling. And follow through when you need to, they will learn very quickly.

Original poster

museumum · 15/09/2015 18:43

I'm not sure how reins help except to stop accidents? You still can't make them walk in the right direction or not sit down.
I'm on such high alert at all times I can grab him if he actually bolts.

OP posts:

PicnicPie · 15/09/2015 18:45

I did as random did also. But I also did lots of indoor places first like supermarkets, shopping centres etc so not near any roads etc. When I was confident that DD would hold hands and listen to instruction then I gradually did small walking trips to postbox etc.

Verbena37 · 15/09/2015 18:45

Err because if they're on reins,cig they run off, you have hold of them.
Then teach them about road safety, walking nicely whilst having reins as a back up. Surely, walking nicely means not having accidents? A two year old cannot easily reason that he shouldn't just dart off into an oncoming car. They would see the car but they wouldn't know at that age it could kill them.

ChristineDePisan · 15/09/2015 18:50

Coaxing generally worked well with DS. It is a disaster with DD - she has to be told firmly that it is my way or the highway on certain issues, and holding hands to cross the road is one of those. I'm relaxed about the stuff that doesn't matter, but draconian on the stuff that does.

sliceofsoup · 15/09/2015 18:52

Yeah the coaxing just makes them think they have a choice. Fine at 11mo in the garden learning to walk, not fine at 2 on a busy road.

You hold his arm, if he refuses or kicks off he goes in the buggy.

Tbh its only been in the last 2 months that I have let my 2y10m old DD2 out of the buggy in shops or on foot paths. Before that, if we were in busy places, or had to be somewhere/do something she was in the buggy no questions.

He simply isn't old enough to walk anywhere in a meaningful fashion.

Jackiebrambles · 15/09/2015 19:00

My ds is 2.7 and has been walking to and from nursery for about 5 months now. We have to walk along quite a busy London road.

At first he wasn't good at holding my hand so we made him wear reins/back pack. I'd hold them and encourage hand holding and reiterate that he had to hold my hand the whole time. And praised him loads when he walked nicely and held my hand.

I've just started not insisting on the reins/back pack as he's 'got' that he must hold my hand. But if he refuses or messes around then the back pack goes back on.

Original poster

museumum · 15/09/2015 19:30

I don't let him out on busy roads!!! Goodness no!

I'm just talking about going along our quiet residential road to the post box or park for "practice" - but it never seems to progress. He walks a bit, then won't or changes direction, so I warn him then pick him up / bundle into the buggy. He screams. Repeat next time. I just feel like I'm not teaching him at all.

OP posts:

ChristineDePisan · 15/09/2015 19:48

sounds like you need to re-set and start over again?

You can explain that cars and roads can be very dangerous, but you can keep safe by walking carefully on the pavements and always holding an adult's hand to cross the road. Never step off the curb, even if a toy falls in the road, without holding hands.

You probably need to warn more than once for things like going back the way you've just been - so explain that you need to get to the post box before all the letters are collected, so if he goes back / sits down again he will have to go in the buggy so that you can get there in time.

You could also try making it into a game - we "marched" a very long way one day, as DD liked being a soldier...

Varya · 15/09/2015 19:52

Yes, reins.

Ilikefrogs · 15/09/2015 19:56

I'm afraid I don't mess about with him.
He's my third DC so I don't have the time or hands to deal with him running off so I take him out in the baby carrier and when we're out I ask if he wants to walk.
When he inevitably says 'yes' I explain the rules: hold my hand or back in the baby carrier.
Whenever he drops my hand I get down to his level, explain what I want him to do and give him the choice: hand or baby carrier?
He usually chooses my hand but sometimes goes back in the baby carrier.

mewkins · 15/09/2015 19:58

Dd was a bolter for years. She was very um spirited and wpuld dart off or just drop to the ground if I tried either reins or holding her hand. It wasn't until she was about 3.5 that I could trust her. I would see ither tqo year ols walking and wonder what I was doing wrong!!!! They all get there in the end. I would take the buggy everywhere and push to a safe place eg. Park and then let her out to roam free. She would still run away though but at least she was relatively safe!

Parietal · 15/09/2015 20:10

tell a story as you walk. My DD would walk miles for a story, and if she let go of my hand or did something silly, then the story stopped.

Every1KnowsJeffHesUsuallyACunt · 15/09/2015 20:10

Harness reins, the ones that go all the way round them and don't take any shit

I started off when she was about 2 and a 1/2, she was awful at first, a real drama queen about it, we would regularly have to stand still for 5 minutes at a time while she protested but I just persevered, even to the point of using headphones once or twice so I couldn't hear her yelling! (You'd think I was killing her on the 10 min school run!)

Then we progressed to a wrist strap. She's 3 now and still using it sometimes. I tell her every time we walk that if she doesn't do as she's told, I'll put her reins on. That usually gets her cooperating. We also sing songs or do some jumping games which I just make up as we go along for distraction. Then when we get to wherever we're going and she's been good, she'll get a tiny sweet.

asfish · 18/09/2015 14:04

My 27 month old son is different with each of us. My wife stays at home so he will hold her hand when out or she puts reigns on him.

With me if he is on reigns he walks for 5 or 6 steps then turns around and has me carry him! I don't like reigns so I tend to let him walk on our street and keep him on the inside of the road and keep up with him.

I also take his hand when we cross any road and tell him to look for cars etc

It mostly works ok, only major issue was when he ran straight into our local lake a couple of weeks ago! Its only 4 inches deep so no harm done, but now he is a real little tinker when close to any body of water, so much so I avoid trips to places with it for now as I think he feels he can jump in any water!

Cedar03 · 18/09/2015 14:23

My daughter used to collapse in the middle of the road with the reins on so I was left trying to hold her up, get across the road and wheel a buggy all at the same time.

I started to praise her a lot. So the entire time we were crossing I would be going 'what good crossing, keep going, well done, you are doing a good job, well done' etc, etc (sounding like a loon) until we got across. This worked very well and she became a lot calmer about the whole thing.

Sunshineandsilverbirch · 18/09/2015 14:35

OP if you AS me you'll see I have what MN considered to be extremely strict views on how children should behave, especially in public.

But he's two. Walks with a two year old are meandering and frustrating and time consuming. It's the nature of the beast.

I had twins. One charging ahead pulling me along at 100 miles an hour desperate to get where we were going.

The other wandering along one step at a time examining every leaf, twig and snail.

At the same time. I swear my arms were stretched.

Reins were the only way. It meant I didn't need to be on 'high alert' all the time.

Walks with two year olds were for adventures when you had lots of time.

If you need to get somewhere use a buggy or a back pack.

Mrscog · 18/09/2015 14:39

The whole threat of 'buggy or carrier' only works if you have a 2 year old that WANTS to walk though. It took my DS until he was 3 to stop asking to be carried everywhere, buggy or carrying would not have been an effective threat at all!

KLou1105 · 18/09/2015 21:19

Dd is 17mo and she walks better on the reins can't get her to hold my hand at all but walks well on reins holding onto the pushchair, I just say things like "can you help mummy push the pram please" and keep saying "wow well done, good walking" "your being very good holding the pram" when she's had enough and starts getting distracted I put her In the pram for a bit then take her out and we go again.

goblinhat · 18/09/2015 22:22

I found this really helpful:

silver-fish.hubpages.com/hub/Preventing-Toddlers-From-Running-Off

Bishboshbash · 18/09/2015 22:33

We started off with reins and holding my hand at the same time but at least if he let go it wasn't a big deal. He is 2 1/2 now and he will mostly hold my hand or help me push the buggy. For crossing roads I got down to his level and told him to look for cars coming and then once we were crossing we say "gogogogo" so he knows he has to keep going until we get to the other side. Constant talking about where we are going and each stage of the journey helps as well. Ds also likes to collect leaves/sticks/pinecones to put in the buggy, keeps him moving and stops him from running off!

fieldfare · 18/09/2015 22:46

Use a little life back pack. He can carry his own drink, snack and a pack of mini wipes. You can hold the handle so he is safe until he learns the rules properly.

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