Letting a 2.9 year old 'cry' / 'shout' it out - big mistake?

[feelinginthedark]

Night 2. I'm sitting here listening to DD alternate between whinging, screaming (brief, attention screams), talking to me through the door ('mummy is very naughty' 'nana is coming to visit me tomorrow...', and silence, but I can hear there are tears there as well. She has been a decent sleeper prior to multiple disturbances including the arrival of DD2, moving city to where we know v few people 3 months ago now though, leaving full-time nursery and badly missing her friends and routine.... and I guess dealing with DH and I dealing with all of the above too . Add to the mix that we have moved into a teeny apartment and have been pandering to her every request in order not to disturb the neighbours and DD2, and something had to give... things reached a peak last week with her coming in and sitting on the couch with us til 9.30pm for a few nights in a row, partly because I was too tired to argue with her any more and partly because we had visitors. She has been a complete demon since during the days due to over tiredness, and is also fully refusing her nap (this has been in the pipeline for a while).

What is worrying me a bit is that she is actually taking longer to settle tonight than last night. I never did any kind of sleep training with her before, but I understand the theory is that it takes progressively shorter periods for babies to learn to sleep, but clearly toddlers are quite different. Should I be doing something more 'gentle' like sitting in her room with her? I think this just keeps her stimulated. I was hoping for a short sharp resolution...

It may take a day or two but she'll get it. My four did-and DS2 was stubborn like you would not believe.

Just keep quietly and gently but firmly putting her back to bed and hover outside the door so she can't escape to the social areas. Try to stay out of sight if you don't fully shut the door too.

Good luck, it does get better.

in the meantime though

Thanks for that! Thankfully she isn't a roamer and does stay in her bed while shouting, so door is closed and I can sit in the hallway listening to her...

yes, it's hard but it's SO worth the effort. If there were genuine stressed (as opposed to attention) screams then I'd go in and silently re-tuck but honestly, after day 3 we were on easy street-marginal resistance and asleep within half an hour of being initially tucked in. Mine were a tad younger at just gone 12 months but that probably only made them marginally less loud and stubborn

It could all just be a reaction to all the change recently and feeling a bit insecure because of it. Is her room different to her last one (more light, noisier?) Routine, cuddles and a bed time story should help. Good luck.

I think the second day is often the worst! Give it a week and she'll be much improved.