Toddler picked up a swear word, please help.

[BlinkAndMiss]

Over the past week my 2.9 yo DS has picked up a swear word, I'm not sure where from exactly and it could have been from me. I've spoken to all family members about it and everyone has agreed to stop swearing around him - I don't think they realised that he was even listening before now. I'm very ashamed so please don't make me feel worse than I already do, but I need some tips on how I deal with this so that he's not the child who is swearing at everyone at nursery.

The contexts he's said it in are: once when he was frustrated and twice when he was doing something he knew I'd tell him off for. The first time he used it I ignored him completely, I thought he'd forgotten but then he said it again today. I tried to tell him he'd got the words wrong and gave him an alternative which he repeated, laughed at and then said the original swear word again.

I considered telling him it was naughty but he tends to do 'naughty' things deliberately to get my attention. He's been acting out a lot since his baby brother was born a few weeks ago so meltdowns are commonplace. He's repeating everything, including all of the phrases I've been using with him to deal with his behaviour, so I worry that if he knows it's naughty he'll just keep saying it.

Do I just completely ignore it and hope it will go away on it's own? Or do I do something? I'm so worried that I reinforce it and he continues to say it. I'm really ashamed and every time he says it I want to cry.

What word is it?

It's f*ing hell. Awful.

My dd picked up a really bad word.

I sat her down and told her not to use that word again, that (listed everyone she loves) would be very upset to hear her use that word and that that l would have to punish her if she used it again.

It worked and she's never said it again.

I think you need to tell your ds not to use that word but i do see your dilemma.

Don't cry for heaven's sake!

If you have ignored it and it's still going on, deal with it like you would any other misbehaviour. Tell him to apologise and remove a treat. He will get the hang of it. Don't take it personally. He's not some asbo thug mugging old ladies. It's just an offensive word.

Oh dear!

Ignore, ignore, ignore. However, if he's using it deliberately in social situations, then you will have to make an issue of it.

(But he must have heard it a lot of times to know that it's something he would enjoy saying - are you sure it's not just you?!)

Thank you :). BIWI I'm not sure. I imagine it's a few people saying it over a period of time but I know I've said it within his earshot by accident. I definitely haven't since he said it but it's a bit late... At the moment he's just said it at home and not in social situations.

IguanaTail you're right - I need to give my head a shake rather than crying about it. That made me laugh! It could be a lot worse couldn't it.

I'm just ashamed of myself, clearly I'm very PFB and since DS2 arrived I feel like I'm failing DS1 a bit. Coupled with the terrible twos I haven't managed his behaviour very well at all. I'm planning to ignore over the next few days and see if it just fades out, I've also made plans which avoid the family members who swear, just to give him a chance to forget about using it.

When I was a toddler, I took a person's surname, and started using it so it sounded like a swear word. Apparently, it was really clear that's how I was using it.

My poor mother was terrified I would do it in front of the lady concerned - who happened to be the President of the local WI, of which mum was a member.

It happens - children are natural mimics, and it just gets harder and harder to insulate them from hearing swear words. At the moment, I'd carry on ignoring it, then, as he gets older and can understand more, and control himself more, you can tell him he's not to use swear words, and apply a sanction.

Then he'll hit the teenage years, and you will be learning new words from him. When mine hit that stage, I did my best to make sure they knew that swearing was verboten in certain circumstances - in front of grandparents, or in class, for example, but that was the best I could manage. >

Thanks SDT, I didn't really consider that as he gets older he'll develop more of a filter regarding what he says. Hopefully he's nearing that now, he does know right from wrong so in a few months I know I'll be able to deal with it like that.

I'm glad I haven't horrified you too much with the prospect of sweary teenagers, Blink.

I'm in denial about that SDT :)

I'm another one who accidentally taught my dc fucking hell. He repeated it with great emphasis and relish during a family visit
I tried ignoring it but then someone pointed out that if I didn't tell him he wasn't allowed to say it, then he wouldn't know. He now understands there are certain words adults can say but that he can't

And I try very hard not to swear in front of him now

Someone once suggested using a different word, eg fishcakes, and giving the impression that "whoops shouldn't have said that" so children will copy that,. thinking it's wrong when actually it's ok. I am not sure if that makes sense or not...