3 year old doesn't ask for anything! Lines up all his toys.

[Bananasinpyjamas1]

Hi, I posted before and just had an ADOS assessment for my 3 year old. Waiting results but feel that whatever it shows, I need to help my child a bit more but not sure how. Anyone any practical ideas?

The OT at the assessment suggested showing DC pictures of what happens during the day to lessen anxiety - as he doesn't seem to understand a lot.

He has a lot of words but doesn't put any together. He:

• doesn't ask for anything, not juice, food, toys, anything
• takes me by the hand to move me places but doesn't point to things he wants
• answers to his name but does very little imaginative play. Pretends to be on phone, peekaboo, and going to sleep, but doesn't play with teddies or dolls or cars in a pretend way.
• lines up all his blocks
• obsessed by numbers and letters
• dislikes loud noises
• didn't really engage in the ADOS assessment - despite my DP trying to encourage (didnt' think that was allowed!!!) - did the bubbles, answered his name, kind of did the balloon a little and ate the food eventually but didn't look at the car, doll tea party or the frog.

How is he eating , eliminating, sleeping , growing, meeting milestones physically? Does he like and pay attention when you read to him? Does he have play dates with other children the same age; go to parks, soft play , bday parties,etc ? Can you ask the GP to refer you to an organisation that can give you info and support. As he loves numbers and letters maybe use them as a way to help him put together words and verbalise e.g. counting story books -encourage him to chime in and read along with you. Get as much help as possible as early as possible in case there is a need for intervention.

My DS1 was pretty passive at 3 (he also had the ADOS assessment) and really whatever it is your DC enjoys use that to engage/extend play. Mine loved slap-stick humour so getting a drink would be a cringeworthy song and dance of finding the cup, pouring the drink etc. For the imaginative play Making toys belch fall over/disappear was a hit.
Leaving things like cup empty in view, putting favoured toys in Tupperware boxes to encourage them to bring it to you and bit by bit building towards verbal requests.
Have you had a SALT assessment? They are really the ones to see for help on interaction and communication.

Is your DC in preschool or nursery? I changed my Ds's as his original one CBA couldn't grasp the importance of getting him to engage more.

Good luck, my son is now nearly 10 but I remember the assessment period very well and it can be quite daunting. The SN boards were invaluable to me and I'd recommend posting there for in depth support and advice.

Thanks amarmai and Dobbins - all very useful.
He is meeting physical milestones, sleeping well, growing. He loves physical play but is having a hard time realising he can't hit people at the minute. Hopefully he will in time if we are consistent.

He actually loves alphabet videos and number bideos - as they are preditable and he knows what is coming next - and then he sings them and gets me to sing them too. Although I got a bit frazzled - over a year now doing numbers and the alphabet as the main communication! But he loves it so there you go.

I really don't know what the assessment will show. I gave up with playgroups as they were too loud for him -and dont' have friends near me at all - but he used to scream if anyone visited the house or even talked to me. He's getting better. But he will play with a kid one to one physically, like running around and laughing. He'll play with his siblings if they engage in physical play but he usually dictates it.

Thanks I will post in SN too. Every time I've raised his behaviout with DP or others they don't know what to say. My DP is a little defensive.

My son learned to read watching abc videos. Try using word cards to test if he can read already. Or suitable apps.
The pecs approach would work ie behavioural approach for speech maintenance it clear he needs to ask with word or pointing before he gets what he wants. So if he takes you to his juice you stop say do you want juice ok say the word. Has to be consistent. . Etc. If he gets the asd diagnosis get onto any programmes you can locally.

You could also use the alphabet. Oh ypu want juice. Whats s the letter for juice? Have him type or point to j . Could be on ipad or
Print out and laminate a big qwerty alphabet board or use a spare computer keyboard on its own .
My ds now 18 asd sld no speech but types on ipad app to communicate.

Utilise the number and letter obsession

I obviously couldnt say for sure but your son sounds just like mine when he was 3 (now 4) and who has just been officially diagnosed as being on the spectrum. I admit to being like your dp and was very defensive about my ds, he was perfect in my eyes. (Still think that, he's just different to other kids). Ds likes to play on ipad, and watching youtube. He wanted to know what the words were so i bought a book with lessons on how to teach ds to read. This only takes 10mins a day but I feel its something, even if we dont really get that far. He also copies certain phrases he hears on you tube. Also do you have a trampoline? Ds benefits hugely from his.