anyone????

[Peridot30]

Need a bit of advice. Ds is nearly 5 and is turning into a nightmare. Hate admitting this but i dont really like him. He never does as told, is really cheeky and thinks everything should be done his way. I actually dread picking him up from school as every night is the same and dh and i always end up arguing

He goes to a few clubs and everyone sings his praises about how polite he is and well behaved. I asked him why he is not well behaved at home and he says he doesn't want to be. Im not soft on him and do set boundaries but now stuck in a crap situation that is really getting me down. HELP

Hi Peridot
Don't despair!! I have been thru a similar thing with my dd-5 and a half. I was in such a state that i went to the GP who passed me onto the HV and i stormed into their room sobbing!!! I am an SEN teacher so couldn't believe i was having such trouble with my own child!
Anyway to cut a long story short we got a referral to a local family group who offer support and it's been wonderful. I know you won't have access to the same thing but all their behavioural management stuff is based on a book called 123 Magic which you can buy from Amazon. It's very easy to read and has worked a treat with dd. She is not perfect by any means but there has been a significant improvement in her behaviour, and more importantly in my reaction to her.If you want to chat more email me directly via here. Hope this helps!

I know exactly what u are going thru. ds is 5 as well and does have his bad days and good sdays. Hear loads of praises from school and his friends' mums abt his politeness and general good behaviour. Assuming there isnt another child at school /nursey that encourages him to behave so, the best option is to talk it thru wiht ur child.

I know that it can be quite sapping when they are like that... just look at it this way....home is where he is the most comfortable and can be 'himself' without having to worry abt a social situation. We grown ups do that too somtimes, dont we? I try to talk to my son and we do things togahter that make him feel better. it usually works. I ask him why is it that he is 'naughty at home while good at school today? If u say it will make u a very happy mummy if heis good at home, he'll do it.

does he go to "a few" clubs after school? could it be that it's all a bit much for him?

also have you tried things like star charts etc? they can work really well. worth a try anyway

What's he like at the weekend? I think SP could be on to something - if he's not yet 5 and is already doing full time school and a few clubs out of school, he could just be plain tired. DD2, although a little younger than your ds is always foul after a full day at nursery, even though they tell me she's been a "delight". Home is where they can unwind and behave as they feel IYKWIM. Hard for us, but it will get better.

This has all been since he started school, i know he is tired. at the weekend he usually behaves better. saying he goes to a few clubs i meant swimming lesson for half an hr 1 night and boys brigade another night for an hr.

We have been using a reward chart but not working too well.

Im feeling a bit better knowing that im not alone. Thanks for your advice x

Don't despair! There have been loads of threads on MN recently re: Reception Class children & vile behaviour. Their little heads must be buzzing... trying to assimilate so much new information - new experiences/places/people etc.
It's TOUGH being 5!