2.5 year old little devil..

[MrsOs]

Omg im at the end of my rope. Today we took our ds to the shopping centre he wont sit in the buggy when told, insists on pushing the buggy himself and doesnt care whose legs he smashes into.. At lunchtime he wont eat his food, tries pushing all the plates of the table, stands on purpose in the walk way getting in peoples way. In boots he pulled something off the shelf and when i went to get it he ran out the bloody shop laughing. I ran, grabbed him and did actually smack him. In the end dad had enough and took him to the car. At home im trying to get him ready for bed and he just runs around like a lunatic, i end up losing my rag and shouting and i know it isnt effective but my blood is boiling by this stage. If i tell him in a calm voice or shouting he just laughs. I cant get him to do time out, we try taking stuff away but that only works sometimes. I say too much 'i give up or ive had enough' that he is now repeating it. I just dont know what to do that will work. I feel like a terrible mother for not being able to discipline him in a more effective and less confrontational way. He is driving us both nuts.. Please help!

Watch the three day nanny on catch up. Channel 4. Loads of useful tips on there and really interesting.

He isn't a little devil, just an energetic, curious little boy. My little boy has just turned two and is exactly the same.

If I took him to a shopping centre he would be the same.

We tend to avoid shops anyway, regardless of toddler, just because we are against consumerism and materialism and quite honestly find there is very little we would need from town or a shopping centre anyway. It makes us feel better.

Don't get me wrong of course we still go to shops that I need to get stuff from, supermarket etc but since I only buy essentials we are generally quite quick and he is happy enough for short period in the pram.

You have a normal toddler not a devil, he has no interest in shops so why expect him to be good and quiet, that is boring to him.

I think the fact that we do such little shopping makes him tolerate it and he is normally very good in the shops.

What is he like when you take him to the park or playground?

When i called him a devil it was said in jest and im not going to feel bad because i go to the shopping centre. I was after genuine tips on how to get my ds to be a bit better behaved whether that be at the shops, at home or elsewhere. Of course he loves the park what kid doesnt but life isnt about being at the playground all the time. Sometimes he is going to have go do stuff he doesnt enjoy but hey ho dont we all.

Did you look at the three day nanny?? Loads of stuff in there about how to cope with toddlers in shops!!

I can only find three episodes on demand. today I need tips for when they won't brush their teeth or have nappy changed!

I would let him walk if poss, emphasis on listening to you and praise for doing well. If he's not listening or behaving or there's a good reason he can't walk I have to put my daughter in pushchair whether she wants to or not. I think in your situation I'd just be doing a lot of repetition calmly telling him why he can't do things. If he won't listen when he's out he'll have to hold your hand or go in pushchair - you'll have to put him in if he won't go in. My daughter doesn't want to stay still for nappy change I stay calm and keep her there till we're done. And I cradle my daughter, hold her hands away from her mouth and clean her teeth as best she'll let me then let her try

We tend to avoid shops anyway, regardless of toddler, just because we are against consumerism and materialism and quite honestly find there is very little we would need from town or a shopping centre anyway. It makes us feel better.

MrsO I have exactly the same issue with my DS - he can be the most well behaved and mature little boy and then in the blink of an eye he flips into something unrecognisable! I honestly don't think that avoiding shopping centres is the answer here, clearly it's the behaviour rather than the place that you were posting about and the shopping centre was just an example?

I haven't got any real answers but what can sometimes help is giving DS a job to do and involving him with the trip, rather than waiting for him to 'entertain' himself. I think it's about not giving him a chance to find his own entertainment. Sometimes I give him a pretend list to look at, other times I ask him to find me different objects. Usually he wants to push the trolley or carry the basket when we're out and that does create some issues (no sense of direction ha ha!) but he can usually be distracted by giving him something else to hold (I use a card or something from my purse, it seems to make him feel important!). The other thing to watch out for is consistency amongst the people who your DS spends time with. My mum used to laugh at DS running about in the shop and picking up things he shouldn't and my sister used to chase him which was absolutely awful for me.

I ended up abandoning the pushchair unless we are going on a very long walk, it made him defensive from the beginning. I use a little life back pack and now he likes to hold hands, it gives us a calmer start to trips out and so his outbursts are easier to manage as they don't go straight to uncontrollable. I also use it as a bargaining tool - if he doesn't do as he is told then he goes in the pushchair, usually the idea of this is enough to persuade him. We also have a buggy board, so if we have to take the pushchair for a long journey he can spend some of the time on the board (and the pushchair makes a great bag holder!).

I'm told this gets easier, I'm also told it gets worse so who knows! But there are plenty of us going through it. I absolutely refuse to avoid places because of behaviour.

Try to give your son only natural food and drink products. Sounds very hyper.

Milk/water only. Fruit/veg/meat before trips out.

You might be surprised. I did this myself and it makes a difference.

Just a stage I'm afraid, my son is a little madman most bedtimes so I just play with him for a bit and go with it. I'm lucky that he will always go to bed ok, just easier if he gets a bit of rope first. Never had any issue with mad play before bed effecting things either.

We tried the naughty step and he thinks that's funny and if I ask him if he wants to go on it he says yes!

I find that conflict doesn't work, so I try to talk to him and say "I thought you would want to help daddy" I use this one when he tips the cats biscuits out of her bowl or takes all the shoes off the rack and I want him to put things back

Then I try some Fireman Sam or Gruffalo would help daddy as well, this works well when he won't eat his dinner

It works most of the time, but under no illusions it will last for ever!

If you want to use buggy for ease, do it at his tiredest time. Do allow some times when he can go into the shops he wants etc, I found this was good practice so he didn't run riot when letfree. This way you have the time to stick with him and teach him and you don't have your own jobs to do. talk to him Iin adadvance about what you will be doing eg. We won't be going on the peppa pig rocket today!

It is normal of course so personally wouldn't be punishing him from it, he's just learning and you're the teacher.

PS all the running around laughing at you can drive you mad I know but likely an attention thing so show him it doesn't bother you at all and do plenty of positive running around etc so you can have some fun together eg 'Shall we run up to bed or hop?' I find Positive parenting toddlers and beyond on fb great for reassurances about normal and good practical examples of what to do. Being calm NB!

I've watched the three day nanny thing, supper nanny, blah blah blah, and it just doesn't apply to my kid (who sounds the same as yours), he's 2.2. I tried those techniques for MONTHS, so it's not like I tried for a day and gave up. To deal with his behaviour - I have to avoid the shops where possible, order groceries to be delivered (£1 from Asda to pack and deliver, so worth it). To burn off his energy, I can't take him to any park near me bar the leisure centre one as all others have dogs running around off the lead and dog crap everywhere, but the one park we go to isn't too bad. It's bloody hard though because I have a 10 month old too to think about. Basically, we have to stay on top of his behaviour all the time, don't take him to any "trigger" places (that will make him misbehave), make sure he is full of food etc and just hope for the best. I have no social life what so ever because of him (can't even sit in a coffee shop for LITERALLY five minutes he gets bored so darn fast), so am just looking forward to when he's older and we can all communicate better with each other.

It's also very hard when other people in public make nasty comments to you/directly to the child, so I avoid going out where I can.

He's very little to be expected to follow along on a shopping trip and behave perfectly. He won't understand why he can't touch things or run around, similarly why he can't push the pushchair. ????What I did with my DS was to make a shopping trip into as much of a game and an explore as possible. So I talked to him about what we were doing and why, and made as much of it a game as possible. For example asking him to see if he could spot something, asking him to carry something for me and telling him how helpful he's being etc etc. Lots of attention and praise for behaving well and for listening. I would also frequently remind him that things in shops are for buying so no touching unless we've paid for it. After doing this every time we were in a shop, he's now 3.2 and able to walk around a shop without touching things.????If he wasn't able to behave well then I would put him in the pushchair (whether he liked it or not) and carry on with my shopping. I would still do the running commentary/asking him to spot things for me etc when he was in the pushchair, again giving lots of positive attention for nice behaviour. ????Although you've got your shopping to do, it's really ok to sort of stop and "reset" if your DS has lost the plot. So take him somewhere quieter and calmer and calm him down. Then start again when he's able to listen.