just turned 7 - breast buds? Should I have told her?

[willthiseverbloodystop]

I've been noticing for a while that my dd's chest area looks a little fatty (she isn't), and I read something today and realised they were breast buds. She is 7 and 1 month. She is tall for her age (we're not) and has always been quite advanced physically with the major exception that she is still in pull ups at night.

Should I mention to the doctor. We are already under the doctor for last month for quite bad thrush, we have to go back later this week, and the doctor is absolutely lovely with her. I also need to talk to her about getting a referral as she is nowhere near being dry at night. And what if she isn;t dry by the time her periods come - how does that work?

Also, I'm really worried as I mentioned it to my dd, i told her what they were, quite light heartedly, but just because we had been discussing how she gets lots of growing pains, and the reason I had realised what they were was because just as much as she talks about achy legs, she mentions she has achy and sore nipples, and when I googled it breast buds came up. So I told her just so that she knew why she had sore nipples. I think it has been on both sides but today it's only one one side. She felt her nipple and could feel the lump under it. Then she sent me out of the bathroom and I know she was prodding it as it was really red. When I came back she looked a bit upset and I said you could;t see it by looking and everything you have as a woman is already there when you;re born, I explained that all her eggs were there at birth, so she already had the egg that would be her baby when she's older. She liked that idea. I was trying to explain that it's not change so much as development, if you see what I mean.

Im really worried i;ve given her a body complex at age 7. She had;t even noticed it. I told her because my mum never talked about this stuff with me and I had breasts at 9/10 (full breasts) and period at 11 and it was so scary and lonely. I want her to have me to talk to . But now I'm worried I've just started off that scared and lonely feeling 2 years earlier with her!

I'm going to take her shopping to get some nice vests to wear under her school shirts and other t shirts as I think they are rubbing and making her nipples more sore and she needs something closer fitting. Im not sure about a crop top. Just think it would make her stand out in pe. Or do lots of 7 year old girls wear them? I may see the teacher and ask her to allow her to keep on her vest for pe as the class all get changed together and now I can imagine she'll get nervous changing in front of the boys, especially now I've flagged it up.

How should I be dealing with this and should we see a doctor? Could there be a problem?

Poor child! Thrush, still in night nappies and breast buds at 7.

Oh dear, poor girly. I'm sorry I haven't got any advice on the body complex but i have got a couple of suggestions for the bed wetting. 1, no drinks from an hour before bed time. 2, no blackcurrant, I wet the bed as a child and the doctor suggested this and it worked for me, blackcurrant makes you bladder more active and 3, wake her up before you go to bed for her to go to the toilet. These were all suggested to my mum.

thank you yes i'm totally up to speed on the bed wetting, I've read everything going. We'll have another try of going sans pull up soon. The main problem I think is that she is not remotely bothered. She'd much rather wee in her pull up than get up to go the the toilet. So my point of getting referred is to see if anyone else can inspire her to want to be dry!

She's quite happy and confident. I'm not worried about her in general. Just don;t want to start her worrying about her body shape.

Are you keeping a diary? When you get a referral to enuresis they will send you away for a few weeks. Save some time and start it now.
You might also realize a trigger.

Not only would I put in all food/drink but also if she had a fall out with mates. Felt she should have had something simply because well, nothing. Who she has seen
That day, lessons in school...

that sounds a good idea but she is wet every night, so not sure what it would record?

I was going to get a referral on basis it would take a while, but had vague plan to try taking away pull ups anyway in the spring (too much illness in winter to even try disturbing her sleep!).

now I'm thinking of just dealing with each thing one visit at a time so as not to freak her out - deal with thrush, then go back and talk about pull ups, while keeping an eye on puberty stuff.

Op isn't asking for advice on bed wetting - she says that she's totally up to speed!

Also, she describes her dd is happy and confident, not a 'poor child'.

OP, I've been doing some reading about development/puberty etc and it's long process. Something I read said average of 4 1/2 years between first breast bud development and periods starting.

I think it was fine to point our your observations to your dd and say what you did. She'll now know that you're happy to talk about it if she wants to.

My dd is 8 a couple of her friends wear crop tops - I would leave it up to her as to what she would prefer. Also, ask her what if anything she wants to do about her vest and PE - she may be less self-conscious about it that you were/are.

it;s just me and her, me and her dad split in feb, so I'm not desperate to rush the pull up thing. She's still upset about it (yes more poor child!). But I also think it's easy for us to talk about stuff because we talk about that and she knows she can talk to me about anything ( I hope). I can start leaving my boxes of tampax and pads out etc. Just make it all more normal. Reckon the period stuff must be at least a couple of years away anyway but i think we need to start talking about changing bodies etc. I remember getting such a shock when my period started , i'd only just heard about it at school. I was;t going to mention the breast buds to her dad as he will freak, and i'm not sure she would.

thank you christina !! yes ill take her shopping at the weekend and she can choose which she likes best. It was weird as this morning she was asking about crop tops, but I think she meant the t shirt ones. I said - not til you're older - on that one!

thats really reassuring about the development thing. I probably notice everything as well perhaps more than my mum would have, we're just a lot closer. I think I'll just keep an eye on it and maybe at some point go and have a chat with doc on my own about it to see if she needs any tests. But presumably that's only if hair /bo starts as well, just breast buds in themselves aren't a definite indicator of too early puberty?

4 years would be about right. I was 11 1/2 when I had my period and it felt so early compared to my peers. She might be slightly more developed and I'd always thought she might start at about 9 or 10. So first breast buds at 7 might be about right I suppose.

dd1 is 10 and dd2 is 7. we have always chatted and been open about bodies, babies, puberty and development etc.

dd1 is an early developer. She has had breast buds and BO for at least a year, maybe 2. Last year I noticed she has quite a lot of hair under her arms and pubic hair. I bought her a book about growing up, and she has read it, and we casually talk about it in passing. Then they did something about it at school and suddenly she was much more ready to talk about it. She wears crop tops on pe days, but isn't bothered, lots of other girls do too.

She is really quite well developed now and no sign at all of periods, although we have had mood swings (which can start up to 2 years before periods)

I guess what I am saying is just keep chatting, don't make a deal of it, keep an open door. But also stop worrying about periods. It will be 2 years from pubic hair to periods (typically) and I would guess she doesn't have hair yet.

dd2 is not an early developer, but because she has an older sister, she is open to talk about bodies. For both of them it is part of normal life and not something to be scared about.

by the way, there are a number of girls in year 5 and 6 who have started their periods. So even if by then she had started, she wouldn't be unusual.

My dd is 8 she wears crop tops under t-shirts at school, we bought them in H&M quite a lot of girls in her class wear them.

We also have a great book which my mum read to me when I was little it's called Lets Talk About Sex and it's by Robie Harris and Michael Emberley. Covers development very well.

Just be open and give your dd opportunities to talk to you but don't push the subject too much. The book is a good opener and hopefully will help you both to work out to discuss things.

great, thank you so much. I feel a bit better now. I can;t remember breast buds. I remember having breasts in year 6, and boys noticing. But she;s not at that point at all. Only a mum would notice !

dd1 is pretty well developed when you see her naked you realise she has breasts, but under her school T shirt it is not at all obvious. Not sure that any boys in her class would notice, in a crop top it doesn't really show.

Actually we have been out looking for bras for her as she would like a 'proper' bra. With a bra on, suddenly you can see that she has breasts, because the bra shapes them. But this is 2 years after she had noticeable buds.

You did the right thing but yes I would definitely mention it to the GP. Our GP had us referred for further tests at nearly 9 (all well).