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Tips for encouraging nice play with bullying niece

3 replies

Coffeemorris · 22/08/2015 10:13

We're about to spend 3 weeks with my in-laws and my 4 year old niece is a little brat. She bullies my 3-year old DD. Does anyone have any tips for fostering nice, friendly play between them?

Just some context - The 4-yr old takes EVERYTHING and claims it as her own, hiding things away, inc my DD's soft toy etc, and is quite rough, slapping my DD's face and pushing her about. She shouts orders at her, and even pushes me about!

We're staying in a flat close to my in-laws but will spend most of our time in their flat.

The in-laws don't have as many toys as we do in the West, and the toys they do have are kept on top of the wardrobe out of sight when visitors are there!!! (Mother is obsessed with being tidy). So the kids are hanging around looking for something to do. The 4-yr old has never been to nursery or school etc so hasn't socialised with smaller kids (she has 3 older sisters who are also a bit brattish?) and her behaviour is excused because she's the little one.

Last time, I took stuff for the kids to do, eg a colouring book for the 4-yr old and the exact same one for my DD, but the niece just took everything and squirreled it away. My DH says our DD needs to toughen up a bit! I feel like I can't say anything because they don't see it as a problem, but it's hard seeing my DD upset and bored

OP posts:
icouldjusteatacroissant · 22/08/2015 12:20

sorry no help, but why are you spending 3 weeks with these people? I'd need a holiday to get over it.

surely if you meet on neutral ground or in your flat she won't stash the toys away? anyway tell her to keep her hands off your child's toys.

there's no wonder the 4 year old is a nightmare, she sounds like a chip off the old block.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 22/08/2015 17:00

Buy a few different toys. Eg doll, ball and books.
Buy two of each. One for dd, one for dn
Spend time playing with both girls.
If they get put away, get them back! Say excuse me, we were using those.
Hopefully, with a couple of toys and a bit of adult guidance, dn might be nice for a few days.
Don't forget to reward her for being nice. Simple verbal praise is fine.
And good luck!

Atenco · 22/08/2015 19:59

How long ago did you last see your neice?

Children change so quickly and go through different phases.

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