6yo DD, bodies and boundaries

[rhetorician]

This has been an ongoing issue, despite much patient (and not so patient) explanation - my DD1 just doesn't really understand about physical space - or she does in theory when we talk about it, but not in practice. At home she frequently touches us (breasts, tummies) and we tell her firmly not to, but try not to take a huge amount of notice. She has on occasion done this with family members too, but rarely outside the family. Childminder took her to meet someone new, the mother there invited DD to sit on her lap and DD1 was pulling her hair and face and poking her in the chest. I suspect this is something to do with anxiety/impulse control (we are in the very long queue for an assessment - but they wouldn't see this behaviour in that context). But I am mortified and do not know how to stop her doing it - we have tried reason, consequences (usually being removed from the situation/removal of privileges), getting angry. She knows it's not acceptable, but still does it (some other issues with boundaries, space too, but this one is the key one). She is not tiny any more and people rightly have no tolerance for it. Ideas.

oh and before anyone says this - she hasn't seen any sexual behaviour at home, or elsewhere as far as I know, at least not beyond normal hugs/kisses etc.

Spammer ADHD is just looking for a place to shill her book. I've made sure to leave her a lovely review and I'm sure you can all do the same--what a thing, to use a distressed mother to sell a copy of your self-published book. Ghoulish, rather like an "ambulance chaser" lawyer in the States.

It doesn't sound like ADHD to me at all, just a somewhat normal variance. I've seen 4-6 year old kids like this a lot! They do generally "grow out of it" and it's just a phase. I think a lot of it comes from curiosity about bodies. Is there a way you could deflect this behavior by, say, telling her that when she wants to poke and touch, she can do it to a large-ish doll, say one with combable hair she can tug on or whatever? Often, these kinds of impulse control behaviors are hard to totally curtail, and the best route to making the phase pass quickly is giving them a new thing to get out the same anxious behaviors on.

Gosh Troll

You really are jealous.
why do you feel the need to speak for other people?
SurelyAdults can make up their own minds.
You seem really unhappy
may I suggest a hot bath and a rabbit?

Ps. I am not a spammed.
just trying to make a living like everyone else.
jealousy is an ugly trait

"Try to make a living" somewhere that you're not exceeding your authority by pressing a diagnosis on anyone whose child corresponds even slightly to you selling a book. Perhaps I will also contact the professional organizations governing your profession. I doubt they'd look kindly on either the spamming OR the way you're conducting yourself right now.

The rest of us play by the rules. There's a forum here specifically for this kind of promotion if you want to shill. Don't spam people who are looking for actual remedies for their children's behavioral issues--and without even explaining why you thought it might be relevant! What a crock. As soon as MNHQ sees this thread I'm sure your posts will be nuked.

If you're the kind of people who dominate hahathis site. I'm don'twanna be on it.
you really should take that hot bath I suggested earlier.

Could she have a fidget toy or sensory toy to hold on to, so she can tweak at that instead of people? One of those squishy/stretchy balls, or a soft doll with long hair, or some such? Try a few different ones, see what works best. Divert her to the toy when she starts touching you or other people.

ADHD - If you report your own post, HQ will delete it for you.