DD stroking doggies in the street

[BaileysMilkshake]

Not sure where to put this, but as your opions may affect my DD (3) future development/behaviour I thought this as good a place as any.

DD has always liked animals and I encourage her with visits to farms etc and we have two cats and two fish.

But now she is walking instead of in a pushchair I have noticed her eagerness to stroke any animal we pass, dog or cat etc. This includes those which are tied up outside shops, and as she is walking independantly I can't always get ahead of her to stop it. DC2 is iminent sop with a pushchair again it will be even worse.

I used to do this as a child and heard my mum's voice the other day as my DD reached for a sweet little scottie outside the Co-op "Leave that doggie alone he may not want you to stroke him" part of me smiled at the memory, but another part of me - and all of DH were on high alert incase the dog did bite.

Of course, it did'nt, but there are other, bigger dogs which pass our house when we are in the garden or on the drive and she is the same with them. I dont want to scare my daughter of animals - but I can't let her go on putting her hand to any animal, especially with the recent stories in the news about all the poor little mites which have been attached, scarred and in some cases killed by dogs.

Anyone have a non-child-scaring tactic for putting them of stroking every dog they pass?

Don't let the size of a dog fool you. Instill in your daughter that she must never never approach a dog unless it is with it's owner and she (or you) have asked if it is ok to stroke the dog.

Just be consistent in that message. The wrong dog (regardless of size, breed, perceived temperement) will provide the child scaring tactic.

Agree. I tell mine from very very early on, never ever touch a dog without asking the owner first - its only polite after all. I am very strict about that. Teaching them to be cautious and respectful of dogs (and other animals for that matter) has not made them frightened of them.

I know - a friend of a friends little boy was recently bitten by a small dog and needed plastic surgery. The dog grabbed his lip whe it jumped then as it was falling back to the ground pulled a piece away.

The doctors said if it had been a bigger dog who could have supported it's own weight - also had bigger jaws the damage would have been less.

My son is 23 months old, and I am having to try to reverse his total no-fear attitude towards dogs, given that he has been brought up with one. All I can do is just repeat my mantra - awhh, look at the nice doggy! Oh. No. Mustn't touch doggy. No.

No scare tactic. Nothing alarmist. Just consistent, with actions i.e. recognise the potential for dogs to be there, keep them hand held (or reins, whatever works) and never never stroke strange dogs yourself to set the correct example.

The one I find best is:
"We'll ask the Owner if you can pat the Doggie"
This is a useful delaying tactic without instilling the fear.
As a dog owner I welcome being asked if little people can pat my dog.

Me too MacDog. I always make a point of commenting if children just come up and stroke him (even thought I know full well he will just lap it up being as he is atm). I just say "h's lovely isn't he? But in future, you must ask to stroke dogs" etc etc.
If a child comes up and asks, they get loads of praise for doing so.

.. but at 23 months I am sticking with the no stroking act btw!

I have started telling my DS, who sounds like yours, the truth, that the dog will bite him. I am not bothered if it makes him scared of dogs, more worried about one biting him and scarring/or worse.

I've taken the line that the dog belongs to someone so it's only polite to ask that person if you may stroke their dog.

I wouldn't tell a child that the dog will bite. It's an untruth, most dogs don't bite, and it would be a shame to perhaps instil an unnecessary fear of animals. One may as well say that all bees sting, all horses kick, all cows stampede etc.

I was just like your DD when I was small, obsessed with dogs, and when I was 4 I was bitten in the face by a "sweet" little Scottie - still have the scars.

My mother had tried constantly to stop me approaching strange dogs - nothing worked and even after I'd been bitten and was being driven, pouring blood, to see a doctor I was trying to get to the dog in the back of the car I was in.

I think your DD is still too little to really appreciate the risks, and you're just going to have to try to stay one step ahead of her when you're out, until she's a bit older and can understand the risks - meanwhile go on reminding her that she should wait to be introduced (and show her how to hold the back of her hand out when she does say hello to a dog, as I think that's the least threatening thing to do).

have the same problem with dd4 (age 3) because we have 2 dogs of our own she is used to and confident around dogs but of course hinks every dog is like ours.
I just keep telling her that the doggy might not want to be stroked and we must ask the man/lady with the dog.

I always stuck with the line of 'ask the owner before you go near the doggie'. Also kept reminding her 'not all doggies want loving like our Bessie'.

I was bitten very badly by a tiny jack russell terrier who hung onto the flesh of my knee when I was about 3. It put me off small terrier type dogs which are, in my opinion, unsuitable pets and should be kept as working dogs really.

Just want to add that it's a good idea to teach your dd never to pat a dog, but to offer her fist, palm down, for the dog to sniff (fingers outstretched could get bitten). Then if the owner says it is okay, to stroke the dog on its shoulder, not its head. I also second the fact that little dogs are often far worse than big ones - many large breeds are very gentle.

Definately get her to ask owners first or you ask 'with' her. Maybe say that Mummy doesn't mind her stroking them but we need to ask the Dog's Mummy first if its ok. Then hopefully she won't loose that confidence with animals but will see it as something polite that she has to do first. My DD is similar, mainly as we have 2 dogs of our own so of course from an early age she has charged up to any dog she sees. I always make a fuss of kids that do ask first and tell them how lovely it was that they have asked to stroke them. I have Dalmatians so they are a complete chid magnet, but more kids do seem to ask to pat them these days and I think a lot more owners want children to ask first and will mention it to children who don't.

Thanks everyone - common sense stuff really - but at 9 months PG that seems to have escaped me. Although definatley take on board the offering a fist first as opposed to outstretched fingers.