DS has not made friends at school, and there is potential bullying problem.

[cori]

How do I deal with this.?

DS is 4.5, started reception this September ( with the same children he was at nursery with) He has not made any friends in his class, and has been left out of many birthday invitations. I don't know how to help him make friends, We invited a lot of children from his class to his birthday last year, but has has one invitation back.
He very close to an older boy (6) who he went to childminders with and seems to think he doesnt need any other friends.
There is a boy in his class who he says is saying 'not nice things to him' has told him he is not invited to his party and said that he doesnt want to play with him. etc
I will be volunteering in the class room one afternoon a week from Monday, am hoping I can find out whats going on.
Should I approach the teacher about this boy who is upsetting DS or should I have friendly word with his mother. ?

When my DD was in reception, she played with various children but it was only towards teh end of the year that she seemed to pay with special friends.

I think that at that age, the parents tend to invite their friends children, rather than teh childrens friends (certainly did at my DD's school)

I would defo raise the problem with this boy with teh teacher - my DD (age 7) has a personality clash with a boy in the year above, but as they have classes together and share a lunch table it was upsetting her - I had a quiet word with the teacher, agreed that it was prob 50/50 but to nip it in the bud, they now have separate lunch tables and don't sit together in class.

Good luck, hope it works out.

cori, I think you should relax about it and not worry until your ds is older tbh; mamag is right, the mums will definitely invite the children of their own friends,it's something I've particularly noticed; ds had a really good time playing with a particular child but the mum had HER friends in the pre-school queue so completely ignored this budding friendship that her child could have had, because SHE had friends already and her ds could play with them!

I think as you make more contacts with the other reception mums the invitations will roll in.

With the boy in his class saying these things, talk to the teacher! She can then be on the lookout for it and help them to deal with eachother better; that's her job and what reception is all about. No reason at all for you to deal with the mum - this is a school thing for the school to deal with.

Basically your ds is very very young and he WILL come into his own regarding friends; my ds is the same age and only just starting to care about having friends, it wasn't in his conciousness before and I think has only come about now because the reception class concentrated almost solely on social skills and friendships for the first half term.

I think your ds will be just fine, just relax on the issue and give him some more time....but I would talk to the teacher re the other boy.

The thing it is starting to worry DS. He can see that he is being left out.
I will talk to the teacher especially as this boy is on his table in class.

oh, poor boy.....he shouldn't be feeling that way in reception if you ask me; the teachers need to know this so that they can make sure he is always teamed up with people. I have felt that ALL i want for my ds in reception year is to settle in and socialise with others...it's the main thing to me, don't care about phonics etc! I do feel the school should have this as their top priority so I think it's worth you sounding them out about it, and definitely tell them how your ds feels; ask them what they will do to help.....

good luck, I'm sure he will be fine; he's so young yet.