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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

'lifting' at nighttime - why is it not good?

13 replies

mckenzie · 09/05/2004 15:23

I've heard it mentioned a few times I think that lifting a child for the toilet at night is not a good idea and could create a bad habit but I can't remember the reasons given etc.
Can anyone shed any light on this please?

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Freckle · 09/05/2004 15:26

I think it's because it prevents the child from learning to respond to signals that its bladder is full. It certainly helps from the point of view of not having a wet bed to sort out, but the child doesn't learn to deal with the problem themselves.

Slinky · 09/05/2004 16:17

When my 3 were first out of nappies at night-time, I got them up for a wee as I went to bed - did this for a few months I think.

None of them have ever wet the bed and they get themselves up for a wee during the night now.

SoupDragon · 09/05/2004 17:36

Because weeing whilst asleep is exactly what you're trying to stop! If you're going to lift them, make sure they are awake.

Original poster

mckenzie · 09/05/2004 20:02

I do always make him walk from the bedroom to the toilet (albeit with a bit of assistance) as I appreciate the 'weeing while asleep' aspect.
At what age (roughly as I know they are all different) should I expect my DS to get himself up for a wee in the night?

PErhpas tonight i'll try not lifting him and see what happens. I had a lie in this morning so it won't hurt me if I get woken in the night by a cry for the toilet I guess.

OP posts:

gothicmama · 09/05/2004 20:05

I lifted dd when I was going to bed but talked too her.I think sh ewas probably half awake did it for about 2 weeks then no probs

clary · 10/05/2004 13:11

I found lifting no help; sometimes we got a wee, sometimes not; equally it would vary whether the bed was then dry at 7am (ie could have 10pm wee and still be wet IYSWIM). So in the end I abandoned it as DS1 was unhappy at being woken and gettign increasingly cranky. However, I do know many people it has worked for. I guess it's worth a try tho as Freckle and Soupdragon say, don't want to encourage weeing while asleep so make sure they wake. As McKenzie says, when do you stop? They all vary so much. DS1 (5 in June) was only reliably dry at night (ie for a week at a time!) about last November (4.5yrs), 2 yrs after being out of nappies daytime; DD meanwhile (3 in June) was dry in the day at 2.5 ie last Christmas and produced a dry nappy every night for a week in February (either got up, took it off and did wee or went right through) so I just left it off! Hadn't pushed it or lifted her at all (or even thought about it after DS1!) so she was just a little star!

christywhisty · 20/05/2007 20:31

Son was dry and night before he was dry in the day and never ever wet the bed.
DD was completely different and did try lifting her (against advice) and I am sure it put her backwards. She would be dry at night for 2 or 3 weeks from the age of 2.4. then she had a spell of wet nights so lifted her. In the end she was 4 .4 before she was dry at night completely

mumeeee · 20/05/2007 21:50

Because it actually encourages a child to wee in their sleep. If you do loift a child you should wake them up completly.

minniemouse1 · 20/05/2007 21:57

i have been lifting ds1 for ages now and can not seem to get him out of the habit, if i dont he sometimes wees. Wish i had never startded it we did not do this with dd.

lilolilmanchester · 21/05/2007 20:04

perhaps lifting works for those children who don't actually have a problem anyway? My son was late (7) being dry at night and we were referred to a specialist clinic. As I understand it, there are two things: i) that a certain hormone kicks in to reduce the amount of urine we produce when asleep and ii) if we do need to go to the toilet, we wake up. It might be that those children who respond to being lifted actually haven't got a problem at all - or that you are masking a potential problem by lifting. We got an alarm, which sounded when wet, and it worked within 2 weeks after years of changing wet beds. Although I understand we were lucky, and it doens't always work as quickly. There must be some MNs working in this field who could advise?

Hulababy · 21/05/2007 20:06

For the past few months we have woken DD around 10:30-11pm to take her to the toilet. She was so keen to be dry through the night, and for us, this enabled her tp be so. During the last weekk we haven't bothered waking her and she has managed to go right through most nights. Twice she has woken herself in the early hours to go to the toilet.

haggis1 · 21/05/2007 23:39

Getting pressured a bit from MIL and dh to lift son at night to encourage him to be dry at night. Want to wait until he is ready. Getting frustrated as dd was dry during night at 2.5. He's 3.5 and most mornings his nappy is wet! Been dry during the day for almost a year.

lilolilmanchester · 22/05/2007 09:31

If he's not ready, you're just lining yourself up for loads of wet bedding and a frustrated child. I think you need to wait. Our GP and HV said it isn't considered a problem until they are 6 -7. We were told a certain hormone had to "kick in" to help reduce amount of urine produced at night, so until that happens, I'd say you're fighting a losing battle. Perhaps see if you can find an article on the internet which explains it so you can politely ask your well intentioned MIL to back off...

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