Ideas why she is behaving like this ?

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dd1 started school in september and has settled in well according to her teacher ,his only critism of her was to encourage her not to keep 'telling ' on people,eg Mr Jones x has hit x etc.To be honest we didn't see this as a problem unless we misunderstood his description.
Over the last 2-3 weeks her behaviour has really altered ,she is telling constant lies ,so much so that you dont know what is truth or fiction.
The other thing is that she has started saying she is ill if she doesn't want to do something or doesn't like it eg spitting and saying she has been sick when in front of us.It is almost constant now and is getting us down.We have tried talking to her as have her nanna and grandad (whom she is very close to)
She is really rude and naughty at times and this is heightened when she is around friends but she is also not kind to them eg 'im telling on you' for no reason or lying that they have hurt her etc.
Basically does anyone have any ideas as to why ?
are there any teachers here that have experienced this with pupils?
What can be done ?
HELP please i dont want to dislike my little girl

Bump

sorry, i read this earlier and empathised but have no experience as not a teacher and ds is only 11 mths. but my sis and mum are teachers...anyway, if you can't think of anything from home that may be disrupting her (eg. parental argument, new baby etc.) then i would assume something at school upsetting her...feeling left out, even bullying from older kids. have you talked to her? have you talked to teacher?

oh sorry, you said you have tried talking to her, but i assumed that was to tell her to stop lying rather than find out if anything bothering her at all...sounds like attention seeking for some reason

dd2 is 10 months so it isn't that and dd1 dotes on her anyway.
I have recently returned to my job but only work 16 hours a week so im not out long enough for it to cause a problem.
The only thing i can attribute her behaviour to is attention seeking but i dont know why.
Her teacher is aware that she 'develops' these illnesses as i thought she was ill upon collecting her one afternoon so asked him how long she had been feeling ill and he said that she had developed the illness or pains when she hadn't got her own way in the classroom.
I will need to speak to her teacher but just wanted to brain storm people on here first really.

We have a 4 yr old who gets a poorly back, arm or leg when asked to do something. Is tierd (sp) when she doesn't get her own way and pretends to sleep on the floor or sofa cause she thinks we will give in. We are also catching her out in fibs and she constantly tells tales.

Nothing going on here at home and as far as we are aware there is nothing wrong at school, have spoken to the teacher, classroom assistants and dinner lady to see if we could find out what was going on. Apparently lots of little girls go through this "phase" I hope it ends soon cause it is driving me insane.

Glad its not just us then
really strange phase though ive not heard about it before .
Has your dd started school recently?

She started in reception in September.

We were expecting problems to start then but it has taken till now for her to start playing up. It seems that now she has settled in she is trying to push the boundaries and see how to get the most attention.

Dd1's friend keeps getting tummy aches over school.

Sounds like a mixture of overtiredness, being overwhelmed by school and not yet understanding the social rules yet. Our dd was foul when she started reception (at home only) but seems to have come out of it now. We just ignored as much as we could.

I think it all sounds very normal four/five year old stuff, to me....it is at this age they seem to enjoy playing with truth/fiction etc and get a better understanding of 'acting' and that things aren't always real, eg the TV, films...don't worry, she isn't turning into a 'liar' she is just experimenting really.

I don't know a child of this age whose rude, naughty or just downright silly behaviour is not worse when they are with their peers. I think the 'I'm telling' thing is maybe a short cut for her to be the centre of attention with them? Again, I really think this is normal - in DS' reception class it really is the girls who are more socially aware and more INTERESTED in what others are doing, and seem to have a drive to organise things...I think this is where the I'm telling on you stuff comes from perhaps.

And my 4 yr old ds is exactly the same as your dd in that he will suddenly feel ill when he has to do something he doesn't fancy...and will spit then try to get away with it by saying "I did that to clean the pavement" or some such weak excuse.Yuk!

But I think you just need to rise above this, it is a phase. It's worth checking that the school are re-inforcing the 'rules' of being a nice friend eg NOT telling tales and you can re-inforce this at home...tbh I think ignore as much of the other stuff as you can as she will grow out of it.

My ds started reception and he is OK, however he has started lying occasionally as well. Though he's not good at it at all . He's also started hitting his sister when she doesn't do what he wants. I think it is probably an age thing. I try to tell him not to lie/hit because it is not nice & it makes people sad, but that's all I do. I don't want to make too big a deal out of it just in case all the attention makes it worse. I also try to give extra praise for good behaviour and being nice.
My ds also knows that feigning illness doesn't work with me. He knows I'm a hard and cold hearted woman & he wont get much sympathy of me for (fake) hurting legs, arms, heads, feeling sick. ...i.e. ds: 'can't walk to the car my legs hurt.' Me 'Oh well never mind carry on and you can rest them in the car...' He usually ends up dragging himself to the car poor thing, cruel me.

I think it is a failry normal thing in Reception - they are suddenly in a new environemnt, one of lots of children rather than a few at pre school, or home, and learnign the social rules that go with it all, plus being very tired from all the new experiences and mental stimulation.

My dd is a real 'diva' and will thow a tantrum for the slightest thing that isn't entirley to her liking, or giving her enough attention.

We tried talking but it did not good (as it gave her the attention she sought) so now we constantly reinforce good behaviour and do our best to ignore the tantrums. Working (very slowly!) so far - I hope she will get better soon - another mother said her dd was the same until the end of Year 1 ..

Hi Belgianmama.

Any ideas as to punishments for her bad behaviour?
stopped putting her in the corner as she would just put herself there and laugh at us.

DD (5.6) tells a lot of lies - mostly they are so transparent that all we just say "are you sure," or "did that really happen" anmd she will then say she telling a lie. We dont punish her for it, just say we dont like lies.

I was in a year 2 classroom today, talking to the teacher and I lost count of the number of children (nearly all girls) who came up to tell on another child, all of them looked affronted when the teacher sent them off with a flea in their ear, sure they thought they were being helpful!

I tend to ignore the fibs unless it is something that could be hurtful to someone and then I just tell her that it's not nice to tell lies and that someone could get very upset. Not quite sure what to do about the rest at the moment though.