Moany Whingey Whiney 4 Year Old Son - How Negative!

[HellyDilly]

My son is just 4 but is sooooo downbeat. My husband and I and my daughter (6) are all very gregarious and upbeat/positive but he is always moaning and whingeing. "I can't" is his favourite phrase and he wants us to do everything for him, even the simplest task.

We are finding it very frustrating. We've tried all sorts of ways of encouraging him to take responsibility: star charts, counting to x, reverse psychology, getting cross ... nothing seems to work. Anyone any ideas?

To a certain extent, whinging is normal at this age. Boys with older sisters get very discouraged because they develop so differently from girls and can feel inadequate. I would recommend you get hold of a copy of Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph. I have two boys - now teenagers, and a younger daughter. There is a huge difference between boys and girls. Maybe you just need to relax, back off and lower your expectations for a little while? Then, try gentle encouragement when everyone is more relaxed? Maybe i have completely misread the situation, but maybe this might strike a chord with you. HTH

Hi 3littlefrogs ... thank you for your advice. I read "Raising Boys" a while ago. I think I'll re-read it now! I take your point too about being more relaxed and I'm really going to try! Thank you!