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Hugging then Pushing/hitting

3 replies

Traydicko · 20/11/2006 20:02

Hi everyone. This is my first time on here and I've heard that you Mumsnetters are really good with the advice, so rather than speak to health visitors/consult books I thought Id go to the experts, here goes....

My dd is 2yrs and very outgoing and friendly. She has no worries about walking into playgroups and finding friends. The only trouble is that she has started to hug the other children (usually against their will!) and then when she's got them in a hug she then lets go and pushes them over. This usually results in the child screaming and me feeling terrible. I took her to playgroup today and she did it to nearly every child there and I ended up having to drag her out in disgrace after she pulled a little girls nose and scratched it (Ive also noticed it happens more around smaller children). She has also developed a habit of smacking people in the face when they pick her up or if you are at her level. She finds it funny - and the more you tell her not to do it, the more she does it.

I dont really want to smack her as surely that's just a double standard, but NO isnt working, neither is ignoring it or putting her in a naughty corner.

Does anyone have any suggestions? Im at my wits end here and I've been holding back tears all day ...probably a good excuse for a BIG glass of vino.........

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
judetheprude · 20/11/2006 20:11

Hi Traydicko
My nearly 3 yr old ds does almost the same thing, although mainly he pushes without the hug first! It is very embarrassing. I do the '3 strikes' thing where if he does it once he gets a warning, twice and we have a time out, and the third time we go home. He is getting better. The key is consistency. I personally would not smack as like you say it sends very confusing messages.
I too would like any suggestions so hopefully someone can help us both out.

Traydicko · 20/11/2006 20:49

Oh I feel so much better just knowing that somebody else is in the same boat!!! I was absolutely mortified today when she kept doing it. The awful thing is she's the eldest in the group - most of them are just turning 1 so all the mothers were tutting and giving me looks (little do they know what is to come!). My friend at the group suggested the "3 strikes" thing. Maybe I should try it too. Was just going to give up on going to playgroups totally for a while until she got over it. Lets hope somebody out there can help us.

OP posts:
Pixiefish · 20/11/2006 20:56

My dd is the smae in one particular soft play place. She will just go and push a child over. She has also started fighting with one of her friend's- they're both as bad as each other. I have had to stop taking her to soft play and really monitoring her when she's with the other little boy. Have tried the time out and it just doesn't seem to work. Really looking forward to reading the advice you get

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