Gah - finding it IMPOSSIBLE to discipline dd (4 and a half) - help needed!

[dinny]

She's being a nightmare at bedtime mainly. We started letting her stay up half an hour later than her little brother and have extra stories on the sofa after her usual 3 books at bedtime (we're doing 2 chapters of the Faraway Treet atm).

But she will NOT settle in bed afterwards, keeps coming downstairs and generally refusuing to go to bed. Argh - how the hell do I discipline her? as a result of last night's shenanigans she is grounded on Mon/Tue and hasn't got a sticker on her star chart. but she doesn't seem at all bothered! any suggestions?????

I would just keep putting her back and back and back and back until she gets the message. Can you shut her bedroom door so she can't get out? If so threaten it and FOLLOW THROUGH if she tests you. Stay calm, don't make it exciting (even you getting cross is exciting and delays bedtime a bit longer).

hi, WWW problem is she shares with ds.... think am going to have to put them back in separate rooms?

can do so but they do love sharing (well, not when dd is being such a pain).

do I do the ignoring thing? out her back without saying anything? she has started mimicking what I say when I'm trying to be strict, she's not at all worried about my being cross with her. I was terrified of my mum being angry (though she did brandish wooden spoon at anyone out of bed).

I'd threaten separate rooms until she's well behaved enough to go in his room, it might work if she wants to share with him. you absolutely 100% must follow through though so be totally ready to move her if she messes about. And she's not worried about you being cross because it's all still attention and it's delaying bedtime. My children aren;t afraid of me either (rightly imo but I used to think hang on, I'm sure I used to do as I was told, bet I didn't!)

I think you can put her back without saying anything, absolutely. Again and again and again, make it v boring. But I would threaten something as well. Dd just got a bed, she's nearly 3, and she can therefore get out and mess about but we can shut the door so she can't get out (high handle) so we've threatened tihs and followed through and as a result she pretty much stays in bed. She was in a high sided travel cot before so she could get out but only with a lot of effort!

You could also try having 'casual' but loud conversations with dh, in her hearing, where you say 'you know it's a shame, but i think we might have to put x back in her own room, I thought she was grown up enough to share and half a bit of a later bedtime but maybe we were wrong, what do you think?' and (brief him, obv!) get him to agree with you. Have it as if you think she's not listening but when you know damn well she is.

have a bit of a later not 'half' a bit

maybe I will move her mattress into playroom (our spare room) if she doesn't go down after one warning... rather than moving her out of their room completely....

she is such a ratbag - she does have knack of making me laugh when I should be cross. last night she managed to get downstairs and under the coffee table without us even noticing her

God, keep wishing bedroom door had a lock on outside - would just lock the blighters in and let them wreak havoc! tempting....