DD1 (9) at a loss when friends call round - what can/should I do to help her?

[Miaou]

Three of dd1's friends have called round this afternoon - they are 11, 10 and 8 (dd1 is 9). She is very shy and though she isn't short of friends at school they don't often call round for her. But she absolutely doesn't know what to do when they call. Poor thing, she looks a bit like a frightened rabbit! I really feel they are too old for me to wade in and suggest games to play etc - particularly as these children are a lot more streetwise than mine (though lovely too). But I don't know how to help her out either. I think the problem is that they are waiting for her to take the lead as it is her own home, but she is too shy to say/do anything. Any advice/thoughts welcome.

my dd is same age, they seem to dance to pop party, write secret books? and they do play games to, hard for my dd as she shares room with dd age 3, so it is'nt really her own space

Yes, dd1 shares with dd2 (8) so privacy is an issue! In the end dd2 went up and joined in, and so they seemed to get on OK. They don't have their own music player or music, and the older girls seem to be more the "hang around and look cool" type - lol. Anyway they stayed for a bit then went on their way, Dd1 said she likes them to come but never quite knows what to do ...

maybe they might like to listen to music even if they dont want to dance around to it.even if it was the radio if she doesnt have cd's?

i do know how you feel dd plays at friends house and they seem to do so much but dont do much here

I'm sure that's a big part of it, batters (ie the difference in age/interests). Thing is we live in a very small place (26 children in the school altogether, of which about 10 live several miles away), so she hasn't got a large pool of people to draw on. I think it's important for her to learn how to deal with this kind of situation.

I was encouraged by the fact that she enjoyed them being here though. I will see if she would like one person to come over for tea one day, that might be a road in for her.

Hmm. How about if she had a cd player in her room and a pop party type cd. Kids that age normally like listening to music. And what if dd had a little pile of comics and they could flick through them to give them things to chat about? She could suggets a board game, frustration or something.

Don't know if that would be helpful. My dds are 10 and 8 and they just sort of get on with it. But I can understand that a shy child might feel a bit stuck. dd2 draws and colours a lot with her friends, often making backdrops for a puppet show. So yes, agree with the arty stuff.

My dds share a room. If one has friends round, she gets first shout of the bedroom.

I was the same as a child, found it tricky when people were ar my house, but always found it much easier being at the other persons house.

But also agree with the CD idea - I have just bought lovely little CD/radio for my daughter at tescos for £13. Sounds fine, and she has spent hour singing to self while smiling in mirror.