Speech in 3yo girl.

[Babieseverywhere]

Please could I have examples of what your child could/does say at three years old ?

I have been told my daughter is on the slow end of normal but friends have made a couple of comments recently that upset me.

So though I am sure my daughter is fine, I would like some reassurance.

Likewise, I simply can't understand why you wouldn't act on this now.

Best case : Maybe she would manage to overcome what sounds like a pretty serious delay by herself, and achieve what is considered normal development (like her brother has). But if you DO get her some help, she'll still benefit from it. Any child would benefit from focused input from an experienced language professional - but the NHS has limited resources, and they are reserved for children who really need it, like your daughter.

Worst case : If she's just that little bit less resilient than her brother, maybe she won't make that last minute leap. If she goes to school still not able to communicate, she won't learn as well as she could and she will fall further and further behind. Her life is likely to be much harder than it would have been if you had just got her the help she needed at the right time.

So, the impact of SALT could range from 'beneficial' to 'life-changing'. Why wouldn't you do that for your daughter?!?

OP are you the poster who was badly let down with regards to your ds and told it was all the fault of your parenting despite two older children who were fine and this has all badly affected you?

It's awful, it really is. But it was obvious back then there is more going on with your son and your daughter has obviously got a significant speech delay which needs professional attention.

Honestly, she sounds much more delayed than my son who has already has had input from SALT and Portage and is only just now reaching the bottom end of normal for his age. There is also one child at his nursery who speaks less than him and he's also seeing other professionals.

If you can't cope with dealing with people right now I hope nursery can flag things up and support you.

Echoing the posters above, what's the worse that could happen if you get intervention now?
Just for context my 19 month old (who seems fairly typical of children her age) has about 100 words. She can put 2 words together, occasionally 3 in a sentence. My MIL thinks she is speech delayed as apparently DH was talking in full sentences at her age!

Given waiting lists and what sounds like some frustration on her part from not being able to communicate, I really would go back to the SALT. Dn has had SALT sessions since age 5 and really enjoyed them - his speech wasn't really delayed but echolalic and complex sentence structure confuses him.

Some fun games with a SALT and ideas to help her learn, just in case - there's nothing to lose but if it turns out she doesn't catch up by herself, a lot to gain.

speech therapy with DC4 was a faff, he wouldn't cooperate or engage at all (he was 4-5). Kid in SLT means so much homework for parents & child. I couldn't have done it any younger when he was even harder to get to focus.

Maybe you had a crappy therapist Trout or insufficient therapy. I used to work in community clinic and it could be very hit and miss if you didn't have a relationship with the child and family. Now I work abroad where our more severely affected kiddos get 3-4 half an hour sessions a week and progress is much faster for under 5's. Most therapy in this age range is play based and interactional now with little structured homework. I have a child myself who needed therapy of a different kind, I know how horrible the whole process can be but it can still be very important to access.

I thought therapist was brill. DC3 had been great about doing his SLT, but somehow I lost the ability to make it fun for DC4. It helped that by the time DC3 started he was nearing end reception & fast learning to read. DC4 was in the system before he had done phonics, and also slower to read, so much slower to learn the same games that DC3 had enjoyed. We had only one session with SLT-profesional a week and only in term time, plus there was some reinforcement in school (twice a week for 20 minutes?) with all the other speech-delayed kids. The daily slog was homework which DC4 just hated (yet DC3 who is usually the stroppy git had loved). SLT told me not to push it with DC4 because he just didn't want to.

So you don't do Turn-taking games (like Pop-up-Pirate) or hide-n-seek games or pairs-matching type games any more? All focusing on listening skills, Are those crappy methods. Our daily homework was all that kind of stuff.

Antiquity Yes and No.

Yes, we were discharged with no help for DS. I struggle daily with him...especially in relation to school but I accept it is my poor parenting, like the Comm Paed said.

I wrongly thought it was asd because my brother is officially diagnosed asd and I assumed because they are very similar the cause might be same but I was wrong, he is fine at school and only plays up for me. CAMHS said he is not emotionally attached to me

I have all the advice and leaflets from SALT already from her siblings, of course I am following that already.

Bottom line I am too tired after fighting for help for DS and being told at every turn it is my fault.

This time I will do what is needed at home, IF she doesn't catch up on her own. I will buy that often recommended speech book and avoid all the negativity and blaming. But I reckon by Christmas she will be much further ahead...the other kids were.

Have you any concerns about her ability to hear? My DC had impaired speech that improved greatly once we sorted a hearing issue.

Does your daughter respond to you when you talk in a normal voice, even if she isn't looking in your direction?

She has had a hearing test and got a perfect score on it.

Like her brother she often ignores me or does not respond...but that is normal in this age child (I. E 2 yo to 6 yo)

Honestly, it sounds like you've really been screwed over. Attachment issues?!? Most of those are mother blaming bollocks. You don't have to listen to them, you don't have to take it on board and blame yourself.

Can you get a SALT assessment and tell them you're concerned about not just expressive language but receptive too? I've found when dealing with professionals that if you go in armed with the correct language and examples to back it up then they mostly go along with it. I took a bullet point 3 page list of things to the community paediatrician about ds2's development and how it mapped onto the triad of impairments.

The language a person uses is what people pick up on eg. ignores what I'm saying vs. does not comprehend what I'm saying.

As for ignoring being normal with the age group, there's a difference between the rebellious I'm doing something I like so I'm ignoring mummy to it being a constant.

I'm always surprised about how little people know about special needs. Like ds2's nursery, two of the staff have praised how "good" he is and how he immediately does what he's told. That's because he's a rigid rule follower and the fact is if you told him to do the same thing at the wrong time he would be very very upset and some things he wouldn't even know out of context.

All the Comm Paed would say is the school see nothing so DS is fine.

TBH I am glad he behaves ok at school. He still plays up and has high anxiety levels and zero social skills fir me but he is getting more rule bound as he gets older...which suits school structure.

DD3 has better social skills and even waves hello/goodbye on command, something her brother would never do.

My friend is worried about her 2 and a half year old who can't say any consonants apart from M as in Mummy.....it sounds like "a I a a e-e-e" (can I have an elephant) which is obviously hard to understand and annoying for her DD....your DD sounds on the slow end of normal and will probably get it when she goes to nursery....at least she has her sounds!

If your dd started at the nursery where I teach, we would put in a referral to speech and language as soon as possible. There is 16 week waiting list in our our area, so it's really important to put referrals in as soon as a concern is noted.

I really think you should follow up with the speech and language service - a child's speech and understanding is just too important to just "wait and see".

Your dd's lack of understanding, and repeating sentences said by others would cause me concern, alongside her low number of words used.