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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DELAYED TALKING

48 replies

NAB3 · 17/11/2006 11:25

I just feel like crying as I am worried. I am such a worrier but sometimes I am right.
My baby is 17 months and not really saying much. His brother and sister were saying clear 2-3 word sentences by now. They both did everything at the same age, within a week or so.
My youngest had such a tough start in life and I can't help wondering whether there is something wrong that we don't know about yet.
He crawled 9 weeks later than the others and walked just about 1-2 weeks later, and up until yesterday my husband felt he would just do everything a bit later than them. He told me last night that he is now getting a bit worried. Our son understands everything we saw to him and can follow quite complicated instructions. I don't know how that will follow with there being no problem talking. The HV said he was tongue tie so after worrying for 6 months I took him to the GP who said he isn't!
He was deaf for the first 2 weeks of his life but isn't now.
I mentioned it to my HV a few weeks ago and she said a speech therapist would just laugh as he is so young and they would say his older siblings talk for him. The thing is, they don't and what about when they are at school and nursery?

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Original poster

NAB3 · 17/12/2006 19:30

Well, here we are again. Just been reading an article about a child that developed normally up to 18 months but wasn't talking. The diagnosis was autism. I don't think that my child is autistic but I just have this nagging doubt in my stomach and I think there might be something wrong. He only says dada, doesn't seem to know that I am mummy and any other words I said he was saying earlier on in the thread have gone.

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DoesntChristmasDragOn · 17/12/2006 19:33

DS2 barely uttered a word until he turned 2 and started nursery. Then he was talking in sentences within 2 months. DS1 by comparison spoke early and clearly. Does your DS go to nursery or anything where he's left to fend for himself so to speak? This is what "sorted" ds2 out I think - he just didn't need to speak much because we knew what he wanted from other cues I think.

littlerach · 17/12/2006 19:45

Dd1 never reeally babbled as a baby, and her speech, if you could call it that, was unintelligable to anyone but me, and usually DH. She was inconsistent with her sounds too.
when se was 2 I asked the HV for advic, and she said to wait 6 months. At tat age we were referred to a SALT.
Dd1 has now got almost "normal " speech, though she is still disjointed. She is 5.
If you are really worried, see if you an se a SALt. I know many peolpe have negaitve ideas about them,a nd they are overstyretched etc etc, but ours was fab, and so helpful.
Hope all goes well.

HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas · 17/12/2006 19:48

17 m is not young IMO to be saying only part words. my dd is 17 months and identical. I thought she was doing quite well, actually...

my ds was speech delayed, or at least my hv was concerned enough to refer him . he started speaking at around 2. he was refered to a SALT, who he saw when he was around 3 (he's now 3 amd a bit). Anyway the SALT was very impressed with the range and content of his language, and also his comprehension, and felt his speech clarity was not too bad, though no awards for it. All that from not speaking at all a year previously. I'm trying to say late talking means naff all.

oh and my dp didn't speak til he was 3. Parents very worried. 33 years later he has a phd in maths and also a first from oxford. and now a big part of his job is public speaking, lectures, etc. so late speaking not such a hindrance there.

i on the other hand spoke sentances before I was 1 (this is actually true, theres video footage!). I was reading by 3 (ditto, video). I can cheerfully say I have done naff all with my life .

so.

DeepPannCrispandEven · 17/12/2006 20:51

that's all nice to know filly.

Aaanyway, HV sooo wrong on the cup thing - unless you want a totally de-hydrated lump sat in the corner.......

there is an argument though, that slow -starters are the clever ones!! Why bother making all of the effort to speak when these two big stupid duffers will run around after you any way???

bubsagrub · 18/12/2006 09:22

You do know that Einstein didn't talk until he was 3 yrs old, don't you?

I wouldn't worry - if he is understanding what you are saying to him, I wouldn't be surprised if suddenly one day he started coming out with whole sentances.

Comparisons to siblings make it hard, for you and for him too, in the long run. I'd try actively not to do that as much as you can.

lucykate · 18/12/2006 09:49

my ds is about 18mths and doesn't say much either, dd was talking loads by now. our hv said to me that he was too young to be referred now and she didn't really see it as a problem until he was at least 2.

ime, there will be a point soon when all of a sudden it clicks in their head and they start repeating words people say to them.

ds's full reportoire is mama, dada, baba, quack, uff uff and thats about it. at 1 they are supposed to know about 10 words, but its only a guideline. don't worry too much. they was i think about it with ds is no one gets asked in a job interview, 'so, when did you start walking and talking?' do they?.

also, try and not compare him to your other kids, they are all individuals and will all develop at different rates and times, eg, my dd was crawling at 7mths, walking at 15mths, ds was 8.5mths and 13mths

sputnik · 18/12/2006 09:51

My DD didn't say anything at 17 months, not even mummy and daddy. It wasn't until she was around 20 months she started on that, and by 2 she was still only saying single words. Soon after she had a language explosion and now (2.5) we can't shut her up. Don't worry, 17 months is really young.
Talk to him as much as possible, and we found simple songs and rhymes really good. Animal noises too.

climbingrosie · 18/12/2006 14:29

Am going to echo most of the other posters here and say don't worry about it. My ds wasn't saying anything until about 20 months, he never even cood as a baby or did any babbling, and very little crying. I was very worried as he too had a difficult start to life being premature and spending so long in incubator. After his second birthday he suddenly started talking in full sentances, and now at 3.5 is doing just fine. I think he was waiting till he could talk properly before he said anything! lol

Original poster

NAB3 · 18/12/2006 17:21

Right, I have decided that DS1 was a good, advanced talker because he was my first baby and I talked to him all the time and spent all my time with him. DD is 3 and 4 months and her speech is ridiculously good for her age. She is extremely bright (reading, writing her name, spelling out loud, etc) and that is why she talked so well, so soon. Therefore just coincidence that they talked at a similar age. DS2 is a different baby altogether. He had a very tough time when I was expecting him, followed by a traumatic labour and problems after birth, that is why I can't help worrying. I don't think he is autistic but I can't help but wonder if there is something else. If I ask him to say cat (who he adores), or dog he just doesn't seem to understand what I am on about.

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mummy2aaron · 18/12/2006 17:49

DD is 18 months and says 'hiya' 'yeah' and 'dah'. She waves, points, smiles and has noises for when she wants things. She has been stuck at this stage for ages. I have bought a rear facing pushchair so we can communicate with each other when we ar eout and about. I am waiting until she is 2 before I start to worry. DS2 was non verbal until 2.5 but he is asd, and very verbal now.

Original poster

NAB3 · 18/12/2006 17:52

Ooooo, tell me more about the pushchair!!! Be back, DD needs the loo............

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Original poster

NAB3 · 18/12/2006 17:56

My darling waves bye bye, points to what he wants and makes sounds to tell me what he wants. He always makes him self understood.

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Original poster

NAB3 · 18/12/2006 17:58

As a distraction to get DS2 out of the bathroom while DD was on the loo, I asked him to go and get his pyjamas. He left the room, went in to his, knew which drawer to open, and what pyjamas are !!!!!

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MerryPiffmas · 18/12/2006 18:02

It is very young to be worrying
My dd was non verbal until age 3 with 3-4 words only.
Then about 2 mths after her 3rd birthdya she just started in full complex sentences, she now has advanced vocabulary we are told
You are unlikely to get referred before age 2 and tbh age 2.5 is more likely
DD was expected to have speech issues due as she has Noonan Syndrome which does include speech delay but evne givent hat we had no specialist sppech therapy until age 3
understanding and following instructions are EXCELLENT signs, dd was also very good, which is why they were relaxed about her speech issues
Enjoy the peace

mummy2aaron · 18/12/2006 20:56

Sorry NAB3 I had to disappear - it's the iCandy apple - lovely to have her facing me and she is getting much more sociable now.

Jimjams2 · 18/12/2006 21:07

Not pointing (along with other things) at 18 months is indicative of autism, speech doesn't even come into it. I'd try and relax. DS2 and Ds3 were very high risk for developing autism, I wasn't remotely bothered by their speech at this age at all.

singsalot · 18/12/2006 21:37

this is a helpful thread, I hope as the op you are feeeling more reasssured?

I have dd, 5, non stop chatterbox, ds, 2.9 months (does talk can say a lot but is incomprehensable to most), saw a new hv when we moved he was 2.3 months maybe, they saw him with my dd and scared the sh*t out of me, I have not stopped worrying since, so I know how you feel about the worry, to add to my concern I was "asked" not to bring him back to a playgroup I was taking him to, they said he needed 1 to 1 attention
, at the moment he goes to a 1 hr session at sen centre, twice a week, I wonder if I will ever stop worrying, things that would normally be quite funny/cute behaviour I now stress it is a sign of disfunction....

I really hope your worries are unfounded

Jimjams2 · 18/12/2006 21:39

singsalot is your child being properly assessed (been there done all the stuff you mention, life becomes much easier once you know what you are dealing with- if anything). I would push to see a developmental paedtrician if you aren't already on the list.

BuffysMum · 18/12/2006 21:49

Just wanted to say my eldest started talking at 9 months, was speaking 12 word crystal clear sentences at 18 months!!!

Dd2 was a very late talker and has speech problems still at 4.5, has glue ear intermittently. It would seem that her hearing was poor at some point when she was young to contribute to this. I had to fight for her hearing tests they just wanted to refer for speech therapy without checking her hearing.

My dd2 is on the SEN list at school but there is always that niggle that perhaps it is something more etc but the reality is she just a bit later in most things just a different child.

dd3 was much more vocal and dd4 is again much quieter - probably can't get a look in with the others though.

HTH

singsalot · 18/12/2006 21:51

hello jim jam, I don't really know, think he ( and I ) are assessed every time we are there, and I am an emotional wreck, so not coping very well, ds loves the group, in feb, he and I are going to salt session, parent child interaction....

I know they are all trying to help, I just find it hard to deal with, don't really know what to ask? say. have been given things to do with him, he is very stubborn, but I constantly worry that I have missed something, iyswim?

Dottydotthehalls · 18/12/2006 21:56

ds1 didn't talk properly until he was well over 2 - heading towards 3. And one of the last words he started using was "Mummy" - and he's got two of them..! (in fact he rarely uses it now - calls us by our initials - he's a stubborn little thing...). So bear in mind that for whatever reason, your ds might not want to use certain words, however much you want him to!

He's 5 now and he's in his own little world a lot of the time - I have my worries about him from time to time, but his language in terms of vocab is excellent - huge long sentences and very long words he picks up from his intelligent Mummy (dp!). His clarity of speech isn't the best as he still has trouble with his 'L's and 'R's, but he's getting there. (by the way I thought he might be tongue tied but when I asked him could he touch his nose with his tongue he can, and apparently that's a good test!). He's started primary school and really taken to it.

Try not to worry and give it a bit longer for your ds to start talking.

Original poster

NAB3 · 19/12/2006 14:25

We were told our baby had tongue tie but it wasn't a problem as he breast fed so well. A few weeks ago I took him to the GP and he said he didn't have tongue tie!!

We know he isn't deaf as he had a baby test when he was 2-3 weeks old. Up to then he hadn't reacted to ANY noise at all. We stood behind him and banged a cymbal and he didn't react at all. After cranio treatment he was much happier. His body had shut down due to past traumas and that was why he wasn't hearing. We know he isn't deaf but he doesn't always react when we call him. Just put that down to selective deafness that all children seem to have.

He's been saying Mmmm today....

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