DELAYED TALKING

[NAB3]

I just feel like crying as I am worried. I am such a worrier but sometimes I am right.
My baby is 17 months and not really saying much. His brother and sister were saying clear 2-3 word sentences by now. They both did everything at the same age, within a week or so.
My youngest had such a tough start in life and I can't help wondering whether there is something wrong that we don't know about yet.
He crawled 9 weeks later than the others and walked just about 1-2 weeks later, and up until yesterday my husband felt he would just do everything a bit later than them. He told me last night that he is now getting a bit worried. Our son understands everything we saw to him and can follow quite complicated instructions. I don't know how that will follow with there being no problem talking. The HV said he was tongue tie so after worrying for 6 months I took him to the GP who said he isn't!
He was deaf for the first 2 weeks of his life but isn't now.
I mentioned it to my HV a few weeks ago and she said a speech therapist would just laugh as he is so young and they would say his older siblings talk for him. The thing is, they don't and what about when they are at school and nursery?

Hi nab3, just wanted to say that at that age my dd was only saying single words, she didnt use two or more words together until she was 2. I would try not to worry to much, he is very young, as your hv said, sorry not much help, i know

I think you're worrying about nothing

DD didn't say ANYTHING until she was over 2 .... anything .. she didn't even call my mummy .. but like your youngest she would communicate in other ways and be able to follow very complicated instructions and now I can't shut her up

DS said his first word at 10 months and was speaking in 3 and 4 word sentences by 20 months

all kids are different

if he isn't speaking by 2.5 then start to consult people

Hmm, delayed talking was the first reason I ever came to MNet. The help and words I recieved were great, so I hope I can now help in return.

Firstly, my DS1 didn't talk until 24mnths. He understood very clearly everything we told him and he followed instructions. No one believed me (in RL) that he didn't even uttter "mumma" until he was 23.5mnth and poorly. He called me from his cot one night. He never babbled.

My DS2 is much noisier, and does babble. He is also 17mnth old. (not 18mnth til Dec) However, compared to his little friend, he hardly talks! He was also much later (compared to DS1) in walking and crawling, the physical stuff. We have words like "cat" "car" "Rarrr" for a dinosaur noise and "mumma" "dadda" but that's it.

I've given up worrying and try not to compare him to DS1. They maybe siblings, but they are totally different little people.

I hope I haven't trivialised your problem, and believe me, I've worried and spent nights awake and crying about DS1 not talking!! (BTW He talks now and doesn't shut up! He's 3) Part of his problem was that he has craniosyntosis, and cranial osteopathy was the thing that did it for us and him, however I don't want to go on about that as I don't think its relevant (or start a debate about it on your thread!) But if you'd like to ask I'd be happy to tell.

Hope it works out for you and your DS. x

My dd had diagnosed speech delay and was also non verbal at age 3
she has just turned 4 and you would never have known she had any problems - she never shuts up.
17 mths is young to worry - most speech referrals do not happen until age 2 at least.
worth double checking hearing tests if he did have some issues though, to rule that out once and for all.

My Dd is three and still talks very little but hoping nursery may help, it doesn't worry me too much my brother was the same never said much till he was three then just started talking full sentances. My mum was told the same he never needed to speak as both me and my sister told him what he wanted.

DS didn't talk until 2 1/2. Now 12 and NEVER SHUTS UP! He was recognised as dyslexic at 7, which is sometimes why they can talk late, but not always so don't worry.
Sometimes I long for peace and have to tell him to stop rattling.

Hi i wouldn't worry my dd never said anything until nearly two and only started talking in sentences since the summer she was 3in october. There was no need for her to talk as her big brother spoke for her.

The only time my ears get a rest is when she is sleeping.

He did have some sessions of cranio osteopathy and I am worried that something might have upset the talking bit of his brain. And I know how daft that sounds. I still think he is a baby and it is more that my other two were early talking (1st child because I gave him all my time, 2nd child is extremely bright at everything and is doing amazingly well) than that he is particulary late. He makes sounds, can say dada, daddy, yeah and mumumum but he hasn't said anything new for quite a while. He had such a tough start in life that I just can't help but worry. And anyway, HOW can you teach a child to talk????!!!

The cranial osteopathy won't have damaged / hurt that part of his brain. but you could take him back to the one you went to and see if there is further help? With DS1, when he grows the bones become tight. It interupts his sleep patterns, speech and moods.

Getting back to just the talking though, and teaching words. I was told once that a baby has to hear a word 500 times before it sinks in. We shout at our cat alot, and say "CAT!" thus explaining why one of DS2's first words was "cat"

DS2 is great at showing you his tongue if you ask "show us your tongue", or will give you 5 if you ask, however he shows no sign of saying any of the words related to it. Because he understands though I assume he'll get round to talking later.

Your DS is talking, and making an effort, maybe find one book he loves and really read it to him, concentrating on one word. See how long it is before he repeats it.

I understand your concerns, I thought my DS2 might have been uterring his big brothers name by now, but he's not, so we'll have to wait. He does chuckle though when I am cross with DS1 and use his full name, so he knows who he is!

How do you feel after reading all the posts? Has it given you any reassurance? BTW, what are your eldest 2? boys or girls?

Chill out! He's fine!

If he can follow instructions and say a few words he obviously has no issues with his hearing. He is NOT his older siblings - it is just co-incidence that they did things at the same age. In fact I think this is more remarkable than a 17 month old not saying more than a few words yet. he will talk more when he wants to - you can't make him.

Keep repeating to yourself 'he is an individual. He is not the same person as his siblings. He will hit his milestones when he is ready not when they were'.

FWIW my ds didn't say anything at 2. he just couldn't be ar$ed! Now he is one of the brightest kids in his class, reading Yr 3 books in Yr 1, and asking all sorts of bizarre questions like what is your brain made out of? (anyone know BTW?)

A i said my dd didn't need to talk as her brother spoke for her and a few other mums i know have said the same. Also you had more time to sit with your 1st child and talk to them whereas the next children have to share your time.

My ds2 was/is a late talker. Although 17m is too young to worry, I knew that ds2 was "different" in some way from very early. You won't get any help at this stage but you could try learning baby signing as this is fun and helps with communication. Do lots of singing/action rhymes as well - it all helps.
My ds2 didn'tput two words together until he was 3. He is now just 5 and talks a lot but is still quite difficult to understand. Don't worry, just keep an eye on things. I discovered an interesting site yesterday that I wish I'd known about before - I'll see if I can find a link.

here
I haven't explored it fully but it looks good

I have a 5 year old boy and a 3 year old girl as well as the baby who is another boy.

I suppose I jsut can't see it as a coincidence as the baby had such an awful start and I keep thinking has something else happened.

He has just made sounds to let me know he wanted a drink and some more bread. He pointed and went ur ur.

HV said I shouldn't give him his drink until he says cup.............

Ds has just turned 3 and has only just started stringing words together, but I still can't understand 2/3rds of what he says (he babbles continuously - it's all just unintelligible!). Hardly anyone else understands anything he says and I often have to translate. I also don't think he always understands what we say.
Ds had a hard time when I was pg with him and I do have my moments when I wonder if everything that happened is the reason he's always been quite late on hitting milestones etc. But he does always seem to get there in the end and I'm sure this is just another instance.
That said I've been bombarded with offers of assessments and (amongst others) speech therapists and one on one care at pre-school "to encourage him to talk" - as if I don't whitter on to him all day. So I don't see why you can't have access to the same if you feel it'll help. Maybe you should talk it through with your gp - hvs always seem to be good at the talking but terrible at actually doing anything / helping in my experience.

NAB, he will talk when he is ready, please try not to worry. My ds is 15m and still not walking, and only says a few words, but I am totally happy with his development. I think your son's tough start and your natural instinct to compare with your other children is colouring your judgement. The fact that he understand complicated instructions is a good indicator that everything is developing normally.

If he had not uttered a single word ever, and was coming up to 3 or older, then I would say there was a cause for concern. But honestly, it is too early for you to worry yet.

I don't think it is fair to withhold things if he can't say them - he may have genuine difficulty making the sounds (at that hv!)
My ds2 certainly couldn't have said cup at that age - even now it is still "up". He went to a speech and language group when he was 3, then had speech therapy in playgroup. He now gets 5 hours a week support at school.
Your ds may have a problem or he may not. Worrying won't help, although I did a fair bit of it! Enjoy spending time with him - I'msure you communicate well together anyway.

And btw I disagree with your HV, don't put pressure on him to say words like "cup". He is saying "ur", which is his way of asking for a drink. You can reflect back to him - "Oh, do you want your cup?" so that he will make a connection between the word and the object - but to withold it until he says the word seems a bit daft to me! He is too young to understand why IMO.

NAB3 stop worrying! My DS is 2.10 months and calls me Nannie, he calls dh Daddy though, his calls himself Sos (thomas), his speech is very delayed, I took him to a speech therapist a couple of months ago and they said for his age he was saying (if you can call it that) the right things for his age group (sounds not words iykwim). He communicates well and knows what he wants, I have gotton used to it and will take him back when he is three if things have not improved.

I wouldn't worry at 17mths, as long as you are happy with your ds's hearing and understanding.

Two of my four children were late talkers. Ds2 was about 2.5yrs before he did much more than grunt and shriek. He's now grown up and two years into a PhD in psychology!! Dd2 was nearer three than two before she spoke much. She's now 10, never stops yakking and recently won a speech competition at school.

Thanks everyone!! And I am glad it isn't just me that thinks the HV is wrong. Occasionally I will ask him something, he will make a sound to mean he wants what I have asked. I may say to him can you say whatever the word might be, but the whole time I am doing/getting what it is he wants and not expecting him to say anything. It is only once in a blue moon that I think to do it. I am happy with him, just can't help worrying!!!

BUT today Daddy tried to feed him yogurt and I am sure he said No! !!!!!!

As long as he's pointig out things of interest using his index finger (possibly in conjunction with other methods) and understading simple sentences then there's no need to worry.

DS3 didn't start to say single words until about 17/18 months and I thought that was early! (it is for our family; ds1 7 still can't speak, ds2 didn't start until after 2).

(HV is wrong btw- especially in such a young baby). The best way to encourage speech is to run a commentary on what he's interest in. You don't need to direct him, just follow him "oh yes its car, car goes brrm bump" etc - follow where he's looking, follow what he's playing with etc. Been shown repeatedly to increase vocab and speech.

NAB3 DT2 is 2.9yrs and he only recently started speaking intelligible words. DT1 has been rabbiting on since birth I think!

I haven't read the rest of the thread (I'm supposed to be getting ready to go out!), but I do know that I decided that DT2 would probably be fine and I would think about it again when he was 3. Over the last couple of months he's suddenly started to use recognisable words. I don't know if that helps, but I hope you feel encouraged.

please don't worry, my dd had NO words at that age and is now a bilingual 2.2y old. He's only 17m, give him time.