13 month old challenging behaviour..can't cope

[Daisychain3883]

My 13 month old DS has started grizzling all day. When I pick him up to try and comfort him he just screams and throws himself backwards, locks his legs and tries to bf on me.He also pummels me and I'm covered in bruises. My DH and I are at our wits end. He's already said he never wants another child, makes it clear he resents any time he spends with us. I feel the same but feel so guilty.

DS has had life threatening health problems from about 6 months and has been in and out of hospital. He was always a very challenging high need baby, refused to ever lie down, had to be on me all day, inconsolable crying all day every day until he was around 3 months. Didn't nap at all until he was 7 months and didn't sleep more than one or two hours at a time at night. More recently he's had the odd sunny day when he's been lovely, but the most recent grizzly period has lasted around three weeks. With other people (other than my DH and I) he is all smiles and playfulness so no one believes what he is like when we are alone together. At first I though it was teething, but that seems to have lessened, now I'm wondering whether it is some residual trauma from being in hospital, having so many awful procedures and being in pain. Maybe he blames me for not being able to help him? I'm just so tired, this has been the worst 13 months of my life. And I feel so guilty, I just find it so difficult to love him the way I'm supposed to. Every morning he wakes up screaming and crying, I dread waking up and beginning another day and feel so depressed. I'm trying to decide whether to increase back to full time working (I'm currently 3 days a week) as I just don't feel like I can cope with him any more.

Hang on in there my DS was so so hard work for the first year and a half no major health probs but I could not put him down he was and still is a screamer no little cute cry u hear from other babies! But he's a pleasant 23 month old now who chats away and we have lots of fun. He still has his moments but on the whole he's a good boy. Is your DS walking? I saw a big improvement when mine could walk and communicate a little. It will pass just do whatever u need to to get by each day :)

It could be so many things a physical cause from his early ill health, an attachment disorder, asd, but I think it sounds most like... Don't laugh... A food intolerance. The awful sleep, grizzling, grumpiness all sounds so familiar. I'd look at cows milk protein allergy cmpa threads on here, also called cmpi (intolerance rather than allergy) see if they ring any bells. If they do great news, a big diet change - but totally doable you even get dairy and soya free (most kids have issues with both) cakes, biscuits and ice cream - meds and you might find your lives are transformed. Hope it all gets easier soon whatever the cause.

Just picked up that bit about inconsolable crying for the first three months, colic is now thought to be largely undiagnosed cmpi.

It could just be that your baby is a high needs, low tolerance sensitive baby. I have one. I tried elimination diets to rule out suspected allergens but made no difference even after cutting them out for a month.
Some babies just grizzle. I researched this to death in my baby's first year. Couldn't understand why she cried and fussed and whined and moaned constantly. If it is this, the good news is that it gets better over time. Much better.
It is probably worth trying a bit of calpol however to see if that makes a difference.
Good luck, I hope things improve for you soon. It is probably a good idea to go back full time. Work definately helped me so much. My dd is much better at nursery too.

Sounds like a food intolerance to me too. Or extreme tiredness.