dd 2y 4 mo...suddenly very angry and willful...help

[noonar]

i don't know what's got into dd2 lately. she's so angry and keeps shouting. she seems to fight against me everytime i try to do anything with her.

it's worst when we need to perform routine tasks, such as tooth brushing, changing nappy, sitting down to eat etc. she's even started to resist getting in to bed- for the first time ever.

i just feel like she's pulling in the opposite direction to me.

she was like it this morning. then we dropped dd2 at school, and she seemed to calm down.

she's very loving, talks very clearly, and does sometimes respond to my frustrated pleas to cooperate with me. today, she seemed to know she'd overstepped the mark, and stopped yelling, started to stroke my arm and said ' look mummy, i'm happy now'.

at other times she just shreiks.

her behaviour is really confusing me. i can see that some of it is to do with competing with her sis, but i just dont know what to do.

i try to tell her calmly that although she might not want to go to bed, for example, but that it is late, and that she must go to bed. but sometimes i have to stop myself from yelling at her to stop griping.

any advice anyone?

anyone?

Hi noonar

No advice I am afraid but the same behaviour from my DD who is also exactly 2.4. She is the eldest though and nearly every evening after she has gone to bed I look back and say tomorrow I will try and ignore instead of getting into arguments.

I can see that she is exerting independence and what have you but it makes everything a struggle. She won't let me help her do ANYTHING and is deliberately antagonistic. She knows I can't ignore her standing in the middle of the road and pushes it whenever she can.

She also gets really cross then says "I'm not sad anymore, now it's a happy day" - same as yours!

I am guessing the similarity means it is just a stage - and hopefully will pass soon.

Sorry not much help - buy sympathies.

Bog standard 2yr old by the sound of it, don't take it personally. It's all one big test to find out if she can get more attention at the drop of a hat and how far she has to go to get you to comply/go nuts.
You've just got to be super firm. Don't make threats you don't want to keep (eg 'if you don't do it we're not going out.') and when you do make a threat stand by it ('I don't care how much fun we were all having, we're going home if you do it again.') Stand tall and ignore interfering outsiders when she's lying in a gutter screaming the place down if you know she is in the wrong.
Eventually (hopefully) you'll prove yourself more stubborn than her and then you'll know that you won't ever need to smack because something else will work.
Re bedtimes, my dd used to hate having the door shut so I used to threaten to do that.

Sounds pretty typical for a 2 yr old I always refer to the way they chop and ghange as baby logic, it all makes sense to them .

thanks. i think i has it easy with dd1 in some ways. although she was a real screamer as a bay, and didnt sleep well , she was more compliant during the day. she didnt seem to ever go through the 'terrible twos'. so this is fairly new to me! dd1 didnt start to behave badly until i could reason with her a bit more.

i suppose dd2 is a bit more of a typical 2 yo. good to know its not just me/ my fault.

Lots of deep breaths!

Having same problem with dd1 so I look forward to anyone elses suggestions.

mine's the same. she's 2.5. i keep telling myself its her age and that its good she is assertive! only thing i do is keep calm and try to make everything into a game, 'quick get dressed before....etc'

doesnt always work but we get there in the end. calm vibes.........