Dad needing advice on how to handle DD's behaviour

[Holmwood1]

Half of the week I take my DD (19 months) to and from nursery.

Pretty much every time I bring her home she is a nightmare. So difficult to be with and I'm finding it incredibly hard to 'enjoy' her.

She is usually a happy, content, confident little girl but on the days I bring her home from nursery she is clingy (will cry if I put her down). Even if I sit with her and play with her it's not enough. I try offering her a snack (sometimes she'll have one but it doesn't affect her mood), I try distraction, basically whatever I try doesn't work.

I work full time and like most dads the only real quality time I get with my DD is the weekend. But we also have these evenings too, about 45 mins before my DW gets home where I'm happy to do nothing other than play with her but she just cries or whinges the entire time.

Has anyone else experienced this?

I have no idea what else to try so would welcome any new suggestions you may have.

TIA.

She's only nineteen months. She's probably tired?

Hi, it sounds like she is really really tired. What time are you bringing her home? If it's after work time, say around 6pm, have you thought about starting her bedtime routine straight away as soon as you get home?

It's a good opportunity for you to get some quality time with her, bedtimes are lovely for bonding.

Very true - she could be tired. We get home about 6pm.
It's just she doesn't show any other signs of being tired and when she goes to bed 45mins later (after bed and milk) she can be awake in her cot until 8 or 9pm.

Oops, that should have been 'after bath and milk'....

I would definitely try starting the routine earlier, when you come in. In my experience, the more tired they are when you start, the longer it takes!

Good luck!

Hi, tiredness definitely!! My son is exactly the same after nursery.. It's so full on for them all day and when they nap they can't sleep properly as it can be noisy etc... Def start bedtime routine earlier as mentioned above.

You can spend the quality time having quiet time, when you give her her bath, read to her before bed etc.

Good luck

I'm a wahm but around 18 months my dad was tired by that time do we started doing dinner and bed earlier which worked for us. That said 18 - 24 months was bloody hard work. I swear she was superglued to me sometimes.

Does she nap at nursery? What time do you pick her up?

It sounds like tiredness and maybe a bit overwhelmed, my dd was like that!

What worked was dd having her tea at nursery so all I had to do was bath her and give a snack/ milk in front of cbeebies then put her to bed!

She maybe struggling to go to sleep as its so flipping light outside!!

My dd was like this. She would have a meltdown as soon as she walked through the door. I couldn't really attribute it to tiredness as she was usually well rested.

What I have discovered as she's got older, is she doesn't transition well from one place/activity to another. I think that was what was going on in her toddler brain in retrospect. It was hard work, but she did eventually outgrow it

She could be overtired. I'm sure most of us have been so tired to the point where we struggle to switch off. Try and keep things as calm and relaxing as possible, curtains closed, warm bath and milk, blackout blind in her room, and when you get home and maybe put her to bed a bit earlier if you can.

Thanks for all your replies, they have been very helpful.

DD was like this ... with her dad - she could just want mom!! Does she improve when mom gets in? And you get dumped?? :P

I know you want to have 'quality time' with her, and that's lovely, but the trouble is that kids don't necessarily feel like it at the moment when we have the time to do it! I would stick a DVD on or get some books and just sit and have a cuddle with her. Just being close to her will reassure and comfort her and that's all you need really. I think when parents work long hours there is a tendency to 'overcompensate' at evenings and weekends and often what's needed is just to do nothing but be together. Take the pressure off yourself and her - you don't need to feel guilty and you don't need to be Superdad - just being together is enough.

I'd just sit and cuddle her. That's the best sort of quality time.