Confused by DS’s behaviour

[Abwab]

I work 3 days a week and he attends nursery for 2 of those days. He seems very happy there and they reassure me he is an independent little boy however at home he is entirely different. It is a real struggle to get him to play on his own at all (if I need to put the kettle on etc!!) or entertain himself for more than 2 minutes. He constantly says ?Mummy/Daddy do it? when encouraged to push a car through garage or put a piece in a puzzle etc. I try really hard to give him confidence and raise his self-esteem (unlike me) by encouragement and praising but it seems like I must be doing something wrong, or is he just trying it on? I sometimes take him to a playgroup so we can catch up with friends but while all the others run off or play happily on the floor my DS is hanging off my leg wanting me to play with him!

Sorry I?m rambling now. I don?t know what to do for the best, should I just carry on the way I am going or totally indulge him by giving him my undivided attention?

You don't say how old your DS is or how long it has been since you returned to work but My DD went through a phase of this. I think she missed me when I was at work and tried to get as much time as she could out of me when at home. I just encouraged her and if I needed to do something, would see if she would want to help. e.g. she helped with cleaning etc. She did stop doing it after she had settled into her routine (she did 1 day at nursery and 2 days at childminder).

DS plays much more on his own than DD, but then again he didn't get as much as undivided attention, being second

Sorry, DS is 2.2 and I have been back at work for over a year now. he is very good at helping me and enjoys hoovering and cooking etc but i panic that he is lacks confidence in what he is doing (my DH says i read too many books!!).

don't get me wrong avegatrix, i do give him loads of attention but i wondered if giving him a bit more 'space' might encourage/develope his independence and confidence.

mmm sound advice - thanks

I totally agree - just give him what he's asking for! A child that young simply makes clear what they need, so don't feel bad about giving him what he needs.

He is so, so young and he still needs the security and reassurance that you are there; he will move away from you in his own time, when he is ready.

My ds was so similar, and it DOES make you feel a bit singled out, if your child is the only one hovering about when others are off playing at playgroup! However, be strong, don't be intimidated by what others are doing; you and your DS simply carry on doing what he wants and needs and this is how he will gain the confidence he needs. Many, many kids don't gain this sort of social confidence until much older, and for some like my DS it was much easier to do it when it was pre-school and there was a clean break from me; I wasn't there so he had to go and play with others!

(sorry we had a bit of an asthma attack -- finally some time)

Agree with everyone here, from his age I think this is a "phase" thing. DD wouldn't go to playgroup but would happily play if a couple of her friends came around to play. Have you tried a small group at home with a couple of your friends? Other than that just lots of praise when he does do it he will gain confidence in his own time. DD now runs into school without a look back. DS now going through this phase but mostly seems to be limited to mealtimes, in that he has to be glued to my side.