Feel like I don't like my toddler a lot of the time...

[phoenixrose314]

Feeling like a really crappy mother for posting this.

My DS is 2.3 years old, and driving me insane. All I get all day long is "NO" every time I ask him anything, try to get him to do anything, even if I just smile at him sometimes!!! He throws his toys, runs away, hits me/DH every now and then, continues to do something after we ask him to stop and then has a HUGE meltdown when we sit him down for "quiet time" to calm down (which does eventually work after 2-3 minutes).

Sometimes I feel like he's punishing me for working full time, letting me know he's upset/misses me/annoyed at me by acting out to get my attention. I feel bad enough that I'm missing watching him growing up, but now all the time we DO spend together, I feel like he is just being horrid.

Please tell me my DS will turn back into the lovely, helpful, well-mannered and loving boy he used to be!! Tell me it's just the terrible twos... Would love to hear from anyone else going through this/been through this.

Dd is a bit younger, 20 months, but is like this a lot of the time and I'm a sahm. I think you are taking it far far too personally. Dd is well and truly in the no stage, but I do not see it as a personal thing. For example she just told her shopping basket no, for being a shopping basket I assume. It's just what they do.

he really does sound completely normal, and without sounding harsh, you need to change the way you are reacting to it. they push boundaries, test limits etc etc and you need to ignore the bad and really praise the good. If he plays nicely for even a second, comment on it, praise it, join in. If he hits you, calmly say no and walk away. If he throws a toy, remove it and walk away. if he gives you a hug, go mad with praise, oh that's so lovely etc etc. He will soon start to show the behaviour that Gets him the lovely attention he wants.

You need to stop reacting so strongly to what is normal toddler behaviour. It's not personal!

It is the terrible twos and this too shall pass.

Just remember to:

• stay consistent with your responses
• stay calm
• use things like countdowns instead of repeatedly asking and badgering
• recognise his frustration by saying things like "I can see that you are frustrated / sad / annoyed because..."

We found the threenage period equally challenging but four is on the distant horizon and it is delightful by compassion. Good luck.