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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Bath phobia - 16 month old

20 replies

boo64 · 12/11/2006 22:49

My ds used to love the bath.

In the last week or so he has become very afraid of it and as soon as he realises it is bathtime he screams his little head off!

He is 16 months. My only explanations are either a. he hates having his hair washed and although we only do it once a week he has just associated it too much with the bath. we have tried one of those hats that stops the water going in his eyes but he still hates it btw.

or b. he has some patches of dry skin that are a little like mild ezcema and they sting in the water perhaps?

I have tried getting in the bath with him, dh took him in the shower but didn't let his head get wet, tried lots of toys, tried a different bathroom in our house. None of it works.

It's such a shame as bathtime used to be fun for all of us but now is really quite stressful.

Any ideas?!

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3littlefrogs · 12/11/2006 23:12

Leave it for a while and just do a "top and tail" and the occasional all over wash using a bowl of water and a nice big towel to sit on. it really isn't worth distressing a child over it. He is too young to tell you what the problem is, but most things are only a phase and pass fairly quickly.

3littlefrogs · 13/11/2006 10:06

Little boys' hair can be kept very short and just sponged. Lots of children this age are terrified of water on their heads and faces.

3littlefrogs · 13/11/2006 10:08

Don't take him in the bathroom - wash him elsewhere in the house. I used to be washed in the kitchen sink!!!

princessmel · 13/11/2006 10:13

This has happened to my ds a few times. We just avoided it completely for a few weeks and just washed him all over on our laps.
Then I bought a new bath toy and let him notice it one day when I was in the bath. He wanted to get in.
When it happened when he was older we avoided it again and just said 'ok,no bath, thats fine' once he did get back in, we'd sometimes read stories to him to keep it all calm.

Peridot30 · 13/11/2006 10:33

My ds and dd went through this phase at that age too. I sat them in kitchen sink to get washed. Ds only lasted few weeks but dd got washed in sink for 3/4 months. Both love bath and showers now.

Overrun · 13/11/2006 10:38

I think it is a definite stage as well. I agree that its best to give him a break, they don't really need a bath every day at that age anyway, in my HO.
Then tempt him in again with a new toy like princessmel says

Original poster

boo64 · 13/11/2006 13:13

we are going to get the baby bath out again tonight and let him stand beside it on a towel and wash him down.

BUT my question is how often do you have to wash their hair and if you aren't giving them a bath how do you do it?

We have only been washing it once a week as he obviously hates having it done but it's now 8 days.

Any tips?

Thanks for all your help so far. I do agree it is just a phase (aren't so many things with los) but it's pretty frustrating!

Boo

OP posts:

fortyplus · 13/11/2006 13:44

I wouldn't worry about the hair washing. My (totally mad) sil read something about how you don't need to wash children's hair. She didn't do my nephew's for 4 months! It seemed really gross to me but he didn't come to any harm. (Smelled like a dog when it got wet, though!)
I think it's more important to re-establish bathtime as a fun activity. See if he'll put his face under the water and blow bubbles. Or get him to lie on his back in a very shallow bath so that his eyes are always out of the water.

Original poster

boo64 · 13/11/2006 13:53

At the moment he freaks out at the mere mention of the word bath if it is that time of day so think we will just stick with flannels/ sponging him down out of the bath and see where we go from there. Then when we can tempt him back in the bath i'll def try lying him on his back so thanks for the tip.

We are going on holiday next week so will be interesting to see if he copes with swimming - we don't normally go

It seems a very very common problem.

OP posts:

fortyplus · 13/11/2006 13:56

Buy him some little toys to play with in the pool when you're there - then when you get back you can ask if he'd like to play with them in the bath.

princessmel · 13/11/2006 16:17

My neighbour has never actually washed her ds's hair with shampoo and he's ok. He's 2.5yrs. She just sponges it down. I only wash my dd's hair with proper shampoo when its got lots of food in it! Other than that, sponging works fine and no tears involved.

AuldAlliance · 15/11/2006 13:00

DS (20mths) went through this at about 18 months; for a week or so he screamed blue murder in the bath and would stand in it (we have to bath him in a tub on the kitchen tablen due to the impractical nature of our shower), clutching me until it was all over and I was soaked. I found a waterproof book and that solved the problem instantly, as he loves books. He just looked at it over and over again, it was his special bathtime book, kept with the soap, etc. and only brought out at bathtime.
At the moment he asks for a song about a boat every evening in the tub, and makes the boat sail in time to the song. So I reckon distraction is the answer, as for so many things.
Hair-washing still a major trauma, though, we do it once a week and all grit our teeth till it's over! His hair seems remarkably clean and soft, mine would be in a right state if I only washed it once a week...

curlew · 15/11/2006 13:40

Simple Curlew-type answer. Don't bath him! And you really don't need to wash their hair with shampoo until it starts getting greasy when they're 10ish!

If you're using babywipes when you do his nappy and a damp flannel for face and hands (and feet if they get hot and sweaty) you really don't need to bath him. It's one of those things like eating - we measure ourselves as mothers by bathing them, but they really don't need it unless they've been down the garden eating worms.

Does he like swimming? A weekly trip to the pool will keep him clean enough!
{Curlew slinks away, concealing dirty children from the world!}

LittleMamaT · 15/11/2006 13:42

Our DS started getting hysterical at around 18 months verytime we started running the bath. He refused to sit down and would just stand there crying until we got him out. One day we had to give him a bath in the morning as we were going to a wedding and he was a bit grubby - he didn't cry, sat down and then didn't want to get out!! So, maybe you could try a different time of day when he's not tired?

CS1753 · 15/11/2006 13:55

My son went through that stage when he was around the 16-18month age. To be honest I just let him stand in the bath if that is what he wanted, if he cried and carried on about the bath I would not make a big fuss and just picked him up stood him in the bath, washed and took him out. He soon got over it!

waps · 15/11/2006 13:59

I wonder if kids are linking bathtime to going to bed?
A bit like some kids cry at their fathers as they only see them at bedtime?

Original poster

boo64 · 15/11/2006 21:01

Hi
Love your message curlew!

Waps - my ds actually still quite likes going to bed but I doubt it will last!

he was a little better tonight but only when dh was bathing him and I was out of the room (he saves all his worst stuff for me!) He started off screaming but with major persuasion and trickery from dh who was showing him all the lovely toys and giving him the job of putting the sail back o nthe little boat etc, he calmed down after a while.

Hopefully if we keep going like this soon he will stop making such a fuss and enjoy the bath from the beginning again.

Poor little things - the world must be so scary sometimes when you are that age!

OP posts:

Coolmama · 16/11/2006 14:50

Try bathing at a different time - like a bath in the morning and it can be a "pretend" swimming lesson! Also. with DS, we only bath once every second day - so it becomes a fun thing rather than something that has to be done -

lazycow · 16/11/2006 16:08

My ds did this for a while. I just stopped bathing him for a week or so and then we always bethed him with one of us in the bath. That way he felt safer. If he was still upset I'd wash him really quickly and leave it for a few days again.

Now at 23 months old he loves it but he still only gets a bath a couple of times a week . Mostly this is becasue I get home from work quite late and a bath just delays his bedtime even more. He needs sleep more than he needs a bath so we only bath him occasionally.

Naughtynoonoo · 16/11/2006 16:13

My dd went through this, something to do with the plug-hole, I think she tjought she was going to get sucked down it along with the water. She also had a great phobia of drains and would never ever walk over them. SHe got over it, summer helped as we could just wash her out in the paddling pool, I also remember filling up one of those big storage boxes (plastic) and putting bubbles in it and washing her in it. It took time now she loves bath. Now we have a prob with DS but I don't stress as much as he will het over it (I hope).

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