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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Rod for your own back confessions

14 replies

Mamab33 · 03/06/2015 22:01

Please share anything that you tried but later regretted or struggled to phase out later. I.e. dummies/soft toys/blankie/ light show/ musical toys etc. Or whether it is all scaremongering??? Feel a bit mean not offering any 'props' for naptime and bedtime.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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mrbrowncanmoo · 03/06/2015 22:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thelastthneed · 03/06/2015 22:07

None that I can think of. I fed to sleep for a year, then stopped and it was fine.

I'm sure there are plenty of stories of the opposite, but I just had to do what worked at the time.

redcaryellowcar · 04/06/2015 05:18

I tend to think you do and use what you need to get you through and when you are ready to change or things or have to, then you will find the courage and resources to do so.
My children on the advice of no cry sleep solution have a comforter you got nap times which they love. My younger ds also seems to like a crochet blanket. They both have night lights and sleep well with them, no need for blackout blinds etc. when the youngest was new he had a musical thing that we used to get him to sleep , And for quite a while he was bf to sleep.

tumbletumble · 04/06/2015 07:38

My DD had a soft toy from a very young age and still loves it age 7. I don't see that as a problem though.

LynetteScavo · 04/06/2015 07:51

Well DD didn't like it when we stopped the dummy, but that's the only thing we stopped before DC was ready (because it was a safety issue). But I don't regret giving a dummy in the first place.

I've never heard anyone say they made a rod for their own back, it's always people talking about others. I was told I was making a rod for my own back on MN once. 9 years later I'm confident the poster was talking rubbish.

car0line123 · 04/06/2015 07:56

Starting with different dummies, but sticking with one specific brand and shape, so being completely lost when they got discontinued!

Such a stupid thing to do, and seems so obvious, but no, did not occur to me.

Goldmandra · 04/06/2015 08:37

DD2 couldn't maintain her own body temperature for her first month so she was held against me or another adult literally 24/7 for that period. Cue dire warnings about rods and backs.

When she was able to be put down, we did and she was fine. Went in her crib awake, turned her head to the side and went to sleep, was happy to lie and watch her play gym. No issues whatsoever. In fact, she was much easier to put down than her older sister

worldgonecrazy · 04/06/2015 08:47

I made a rod for my own back by co-sleeping and teaching my daughter that weekends are for lie-ins. She's in her own room now.

It's terrible on a weekend when we can lie in bed until 9.00 - 10.00 a.m. whilst all her peers are up and bouncing on their parents beds at 6.00 a.m. .....

Brightonmumtoatoddler · 04/06/2015 09:05

It seems to me one of the biggest 'rods' or 'regrets' people have on here is that they weren't firm enough with their children. Do not be afraid to be the boss. Children LOVE boundaries and actually like to know what the rules are and consequences are of their actions. Then everyone is on an even playing field and it makes for a happier, easier household.

DeeWe · 04/06/2015 09:40

I still lie with 7yo ds as he goes to sleep.

Actually most of the time I love it. We cuddle up together and read a story or two, then we chat and he gradually goes to sleep.
But it does mean he takes longer to get to sleep when I'm not there as he reads himself to sleep.

He told me in a strop a few nights ago to "go away and not come back". The next night he came to me and said "I didn't really mean it, please come and sleep with me." which was quite sweet.

I don't need to worry though. He tells me he will give it up in his own time when he's 28.

tea4two4three · 04/06/2015 12:40

No rods as such for DS but I'm sure they will appear dummy/blanket/fav toy. Myself however... My mum was advised she should take my dummy off me age 1ish and I proceeded to suck my thumb until I was about 14. And I still have my blanket (I'm in my 30s) and still use it to help me sleep when I'm stressed. I figure it's better than sleeping tablets :-D

Original poster

Mamab33 · 04/06/2015 12:50

These are so good to hear. Nice supportive thread.

OP posts:

MiaSparrow · 04/06/2015 14:50

Whatever gets you through is my motto. DD didn't have a dummy, hasn't ever sucked her thumb, no blankie, no favourite cuddly toy (except ALL OF THEM). She has been the WORST sleeper ever.

steppemum · 04/06/2015 15:01

We had dummies, cuddly toys, musical mobiles, whatever worked which varied according to which baby.

We were able to move on with each thing quite easily once it reached its natural conclusion.

One thing I did do though - teddies/blankets got washed often enough that you had to sleep with someone else while teddy was on the radiator. This meant they weren't 100% dependent.

Oh and I instigated 7 am is morning time, and before that I would say - shhh still sleep time and leave them in cot. No 6 am wake ups here!

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