DD7 saying she's fat :(

[MrsWhirling]

My DD7 keeps saying she is fat. She said children in her school told her she was. Everyday this holiday has been a nightmare due to her not being able to find something to wear. Yesterday I took her shopping and her lots of new clothes she was chuffed with. This morning massive meltdown because 'she looks fat'. She also said she isn't going to eat today. I don't know what to do. This year has been a horrific year for her, she's changed from a bright happy child into a moody, rude one who now gets in trouble at school.

Is she overweight or is she a normal weight for her height? I guess that affects how you deal with it. Either way there is probably no harm in talking about healthy eating and exercise, eg that it's not good for your body to starve, but that if she wants to feel and look her best then her body needs lots of healthy foods and exercise. If she is overweight, then you could make changes to your whole family's diets, are there any sporty activities she likes as well?
Does she have problems with bullying at school, or is this an isolated incident? I'd probably mention to her teacher that other children have been picking on her for being 'fat' so the teacher can keep an eye too?
If she is skinny and still thinking she's fat, that's worrying and she might need some expert help. Hope things pick up for her soon.

I agree with DIY. If she is overweight then it's the time to tackle that as she is conscious of it. I would still talk to the teacher though.

Not that other children should be being unkind to your dd. Sometimes small dc can be quite matter of fact about things.

My own dd (8) told me just last week in regard to the points her class had received in cross country that her class were lucky as 'there were no fat children'. I didn't really know what to say so I didn't really tackle it very well.

I don't actually agree. Whether she is overweight or not, the immediate pressing issue is that your daughter has had a horrific year and is clearly in distress. If her eating or exercise habits need changing, you can deal with it in good time - but your first response to her distress should not be to start talking to her about how to lose weight.

You don't say what you are already doing about what's going on at school and about her unhappiness - have you found effective ways of helping her with that?

You might find this resource good: selfesteem.dove.co.uk/