ds, two and a half, giving me the runaround!

[Moominmamma86]

My son, who is very bright and lively, is becoming increasingly difficult to handle at the moment. I'm sure it's pretty normal toddler behaviour but I have this feeling I'm just not in control!
For example, yesterday I was trying to get him ready to go out somewhere I knew he wanted to go but it took me probably nearly an hour to get us ready, he just did everything he could to make it impossible - making his body go limp when I was trying to pick him up, then arching his back to try and get away/bash me with his head. I basically had to wrestle him into his clothes plus constantly chasing him around and stopping him doing various things he knows are naughty. He has a habit of hitting and throwing things at the moment - no matter how often I say no it's like he can't help himself. He just gets totally hyped up and seems to enjoy the whole thrill of being naughty! He's definitely got a contrary streak. It's not got to a point where I'm worried about him as such but it's frustrating and exhausting and I'd just like some tips on how to encourage more of the behaviour we want to see and hopefully stop him from entertaining himself by driving everyone bonkers!

Moomin It's normal for a 2 and half year old (esp. a boy).

As an ex CM\nanny and E.Y teacher, also M of 3 You need a different approach, he's not naughty btw, just full of life and high spirits, yes get him out of the house, but in his pyjamas if he won't co-operate, take him to lots of parks get him kicking a ball or whatever, running races in the garden with you and or your partner. Get his fave toys to dress themselves or get him to do it, make them 'talk' in funny voices, E.G. "I want to go to the park but i don't want my shoes on" So he can laugh at hearing himself in a toys' voice IYSWIM.

There's a book that's often recommended on here called 'How to Talk so Your Children Listen and how to Listen so your Children Talk".

Oh the great thing is to expect him to be reasonable and when he is, ALWAYS encourage him and notice it, It's called positive reinforcement. So don't ignore the 'good' behaviour and shout at the 'bad' because even a shout is attention. Give him plenty of love and attention when he's just being quiet !!!!!

As a mum of 3 boys(youngest is just 2) it sounds familiar and normal.It is a frustrating phase to get through.2 of mine are/were like that.I often resort to bribery if I need to do something quickly "let's put your shoes on and you can have a jelly bean" as well as verbally rewarding good behaviour too when it happens spontaneously,not just after coercion. Once they are a bit older you can reason with them so techniques that might work now are just for this phase and in my experience do not reinforce bad habits.I often use distraction as well,changing the subject if they get fixated on something or,like above,making a joke of the situation.Pick up on cues like tiredness and act accordingly.
I agree with above post about lots of activities to tire them out followed by quieter relaxing time.
Also,hard though it can be sometimes,stay in control and don't lose your temper.All the parenting programmes and books reinforce this ,boys respond well to boundaries and some push the limits to find out far they can go but are reassured if you can remain in control and ultimately set the rules.

It's not just boys at all- dd is the same age and also enjoys pushing boundaries and seeing how far she can push me.

I find doing things in the same order helps; whatever we are doing she gets dressed first as soon as she is up, and then has her breakfast.

I also find small pints of choice help; eg do you want pink knickers or yellow knickers? These shoes or those shoes? Both choices suit me but she feels like she has a bit of control.

Also not too young for reminders, eg you can watch one more peppa pig then we are doing x. Or in 3 counts we will do x and if not then you will be told off/ have to lie on your bed for 2 minutes.

I did say especially boys, of course girls can be similar, but generally are not quite so physical, ds was quite calm, but I've taught and looked after enough children to know that it is USUALLY boys.

This makes me feel both lucky & relieved.
My 2.4 year old can be like this.
I'm n a very fortunate position that I have tonnes of time so rarely argue about these things with ds.
Added to the fact that I am a lazy arse & can't be arsed with the whole fighting/arguing/persuasion thing.

I do put things off until later allot, saves my sanity & means peace.

I reassure myself with the fact that it won't be like this for long ...this too shall pass.