Worried mum of 11month old

[KP1986]

Hi mums, I'm not sure I'm posting in right area (first timer here) but I'd be grateful for any advice, shared stories and experiences.

My LO is 11 months old now and finally back up to the 25th centile for weight. I breast fed him for 6 months, however at 8 weeks his weight dropped by two centiles and stayed down untill 6month, when he started solids. The only times before that that his weigh improved was if we gave him a bottle, I was (I feel selfishly) not wanting to bottle feed, because I would have been the only one in my group to give up-( I know already bad mum award for not putting baby first) he was showing signs of hunger and I clearly wasn't meeting his needs with BM. I did ask HV and DR at time but received no help.

Now he is 11 months old he does not wave or clap, he does point. He doesn't speak apart from mama, dada and ca. He crawls and furniture surfs. He seams happy smiles and laughs. But looking back I feel I have starved him and worried sick I have hurt him or it's effecting his development.

I have been to dr and HV with my concerns and they don't seam to be listening- in fact the dr has prescribed me antidepressants and said I have postnatal depression ?? yes I feel down, because I feel I have failed my son, and worried for his long term health. I know it's too late now- I should have been this concerned at the time!

But if anyone has had same experience I'd love to hear- many thanks

Hi OP, I agree your son sounds absolutely fine and totally within normal range. Don't forget that 'normal' includes a wide range, eg. some babies walk at 9 months, some not till nearer 18 months - all of which is considered normal. The same goes for social skills as well, and the pointing is an excellent sign that he is developing normally.

Don't feel guilty re. the breastfeeding - you did what you felt was best. I breastfed my DS for 6 weeks in utter agony and misery - looking back he clearly wasn't getting enough, he was miserable and I was miserable. And yes, I had loads of 'support' in trying to breastfeed, it just didn't work for us. I should have stopped much sooner and I still feel angry about the 'breastfeed or else you and your baby will be a failure' message that is put out there. It really, really isn't that clearcut, especially in the developed world where we have access to safe clean water, and a hygienic environment for making formula!

OP I was in your shoes not many months ago. For a variety of reasons I managed to convince myself that my dd had autism because she was v quiet comparative to her peers and wasn't meeting milestones exactly at the times the baby centre updates said she should! She is 16 months now and has a couple of words plus animal sounds and seems to be right on track. Looking back at it had a hellish few months which was all anxiety related and put a massive strain on my marriage and relationships. I couldn't understand why the dr kept saying anxiety when all I wanted her to do was check my dd more thoroughly. Thankfully I have a lovely HV who does regular follow ups and has really put me at ease. I have also had a short course or counselling which has really helped. Hope all goes well for you and try not to worry

Focus on the fact he seems happy and is smiling and laughing, that is an indication of how well he is doing. And don't worry about the centiles when he was younger, it's completely normal to drop/gain centimes, he sounds like he is doing great!

My friend tried to breasfeed her newborn dd. It wasn't until she hadn't had a dirty nappy for 9 days that they realised she was starving. My poor friend had suffered those early days, tried to struggle on because she felt like a failure through a crying, screaming baby who couldn't sleep due to hunger. Her little girl is now 4.5yo and entirely happy and developmentally normal.

Please don't worry OP your dd sounds absolutely fine. My ds was a little chunk, always fed well and regularly, but I worried because he wasn't pointing/ clapping at the same age! He's totally fine developmentally.