Staff at nursery doing "talk to the hand" gestures when my dd speaks to them..?

[lovespuds]

My daughter is 4 years old and starts school in September. She has been at her nursery for a year, just two days a week as her grandmother looks after her another two days. Over the past month, she has been more and more unhappy about nursery. She tells me that she is told off when she hasn't done anything wrong. She is always counting the days to nursery and crying about it. Just now, before bed, we were talking about nursery again. She told me that other children hit her, and when she tries to ask a lady for help, they do the "talk to the hand" gesture at her, and walk away (she didn't call it that, obviously, just did an impression).

I'm not sure what to say to them? I'm unhappy that they ignore distressed children. I would like to change to another nursery, but do you think it is worth it for just a few months? I don't want to unsettle her even further, as the reason she had to go there in the first place is that her father and I split up, so I needed to return to work.

Am I even making a fuss about nothing?

Please change her nursery, it sounds awful, and that's how it feels to her. She should build some confidence up before school, not have it knocked out of her. I'd find somewhere else ASAP.

No, of course you are not making a fuss about nothing. Your dd is unhappy, so you need to investigate. I would do that though - approach the manager and tell her what you have told us. I visit a lot of Nurseries through my work and it's very common for them to have cameras in the room - let the manager investigate and see what comes of it.

I would change nursery. She's still a good few months to settle somewhere else and get her confidence built back up before school.

My Ds was moved up groups in nursery 6 weeks before he was due to leave..I worried about the settling in as he was very settled where he was, however the difference in 6 weeks was remarkable.

Your Dd is already happy what have you got to loose. It may just give her that boost before school

I'd move her. She needs the message that you listen to her and act on her concerns.

I have just posted a similar thread a couple of daya ago on here "please help,my son is so unhappy at nursery,". I have removed him now and in the 4 days since he is already much happier. Trust your gut and take her out if you can.

Lndnmummy - that's good, glad to hear that your son is happier already! I am going to speak to them at the same time as checking out other nurseries to see if they have availability for her.

I definitely suggest moving her if she is unhappy, hopefully you will find a better fit. In the mean time I might be able to shed some light on the 'talk to the hand' gesture.

When I was in a care we did a 'visual stop' which is a very similar gesture although the hand would be lower down not near your face or the other person's face.

An example of the interaction could be something like this:

Someone approaches you agitated or shouting. You make the stop gesture and ask them to stop and tell you calmly. You don't ignore someone or walk away but it was due to the fact we had people who struggled with language especially when upset so any time you could use signing or Makaton with words helps.

I know it is used in early years settings as well. So it might be worth speaking with them to hear their version. You can explain it upsets her and they should work out a different approach with her.

If they aren't willing to work with you and your daughter on it then definitely find a new placement for her.

Agree wiv other posters - investigate. If answer isn't sufficient / won't change approach, switch to new nursery.

Poor your DD for being so unhappy. I would definitely move my DC for that reason.

However, are you sure the staff are not using the Makaton sign for 'stop' and 'wait' because your DD is interrupting another conversation they are having? She may not realise she is interrupting and therefore just feels rejected.

Many settings build in some visual signing into their practise and 'stop' is a bit similar to 'talk to the hand'!