playdate meltdown 3 1/2yrs...

[julesrose]

DD is only child so far and is usually totally lovely when she's on her own. Often - though not always - gets into a right old state when it comes to playing with others. At nursery will often say to me she's going to play on her own, though actually regularly plays with other children. At home when have children over can start OK but then she has a meltdown, refusing to share any toys, calling them names and saying she doesn't like them. Makes me feel so terrible I do freeze up a bit and don't know what to do.

Relax - totally normal for her age!

ALL kids do this, not just your DD! It's a case of refereeing for a few years I'm afraid

Keep playdates REALLY short and make sure they are not always at your place so that she is not always having to share her things.

Decide with her on some special toys she can put away before a playdate. Why shouldn't she have some things that are for her alone - fair enough. I know I do!

And don't put too much emphasis on her ability to socialise happily - she will be learning this at nursery, as well as from watching you interact with people, so the playdates don't really matter that much if you ask me.

Thanks - nice to be reasurred! Any tricks to help them understand that calling their freinds names, shouting at them etc is not the best way to go about things? I think she'll end up not getting invited round to theirs if she carries on like this, and it's only two terms before school so need to get things better by then!