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Son telling me he is nervous at after school club - 6 years old

3 replies

jessie98 · 09/05/2015 20:29

Hello - I'm looking for some advice as to whether I should be concerned or not... My DS has up to now been really happy at school. We moved just before he started school and has done really well making friends and has built up a good circle of pals. He seems to me to be confident and happy playing on his own as well as with others. We don't have any other children. He has never complained about going to after school club and has been in the school holidays, when we gave him options of what to do in the holidays, after school club is where he said he wanted to go (I did have to sort out a couple of days of childcare). I've just increased my hours at work and he has started doing extra sessions at after school club. We were talking about it today and I was asking who he plays with. He told me that on one day it is very busy and he gets nervous when he goes in and in the middle. Now on one hand I am glad he told me, we talked about it and I asked what he would do when he feels nervous. He has got a couple of friends that he always plays with and they are still getting on OK so he said he could play with them. It is a bit complicated, the after school is based on two sites and on this day he has said there isn't a book corner where he can sit and read a book (my suggestion). I said to him that he was doing really well with coping with after school. I am now wondering whether I should do any more with this, I don't want it to escalate into anything bigger. Of course I googled it and I found somewhere that said that serious anxiety can start around this age. I have problems with anxiety (why I am on here!) and I don't want him to inherit the same issues. Any advice would be gratefully received. I also wonder whether to speak to the person who runs after school, who is lovely and who I trust.

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Ferguson · 09/05/2015 22:06

If it is on two sites, do you and he have any choice over which he goes to? Can he not always go the 'quieter' one - or maybe it's not that simple?

It sounds like he is coping with it OK, even if he does feel a bit nervous.

Unless he gets really distressed, and doesn't want to go to it, I don't think it any big problem. Speak to the supervisor of the sessions if you wish; does the same person have responsibility for both sites?

leccybill · 09/05/2015 22:17

My DD is 5 (in reception) and goes to breakfast and after school club 3 days a week. On a Friday, she normally makes some rumblings about not wanting to go, and it normally just boils down to tiredness. She goes to ballet, swimming and Rainbows in the week so she's tired out and kind of just waiting for me to get there on a Friday.
The staff suggested she could bring her own cuddly toy or book and just chill out in a corner with it, which has worked well for us.

jessie98 · 09/05/2015 23:00

Thanks for the kind responses. Ferguson, no we don't get a choice of sites, it is because the club is so full. But like you both said I think he probably just needs to know he can go somewhere to chill out so I'll have a word with them. I'm sure there are loads of other kids in the same situation and yes you're right it isn't a big deal at the moment. I just tend to over think things and I also feel guilty about him having to go to after school because of me increasing my working hours. Fingers crossed he'll be fine.

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