Nursery Staff keep telling me my 20mth old doesn't smile a lot.

[Yeasayer]

My little boy is generally happy and has hit all of his milestones a little earlier than most. I have no concerns over his development or behaviour, however his nursery key workers are always mentioning that he doesn't smile a lot (at least once a week).

He's perfectly happy at home, plays nicely and is a little shy with strangers (normal for his age group, I thought?). One of his keyworkers said he doesn't really 'play' with other toddlers in his room (I didn't think children played together at this age).

He's taken quite a long time to settle in (around 5 months, although he's also moved from the baby room to toddler room in this time).

He laughs, maintains eye contact (as much as a toddler can), his speech is progressing well. Aside from the fact he has a bit of a serious face, I don't have any concerns.

Should I be concerned by nursery's comments? Any advice on welcome!

Sounds fine to me. Toddlers tend not to play WITH each other, they play NEXT to each other. If Ds is only (and you don't mention siblings) then he isn't used to playing WITH others much yet, so that's something that will come in the future.
If he's happy and smiley at home, I wouldn't worry about him.
I imagine that the EY experts will be along soon, hopefully they will reassure you.

I think sometimes nursery staff sometimes say these things flippantly without thinking how much it might affect parents. When my kids were at nursery I learnt to brush off some really tactless but well-meant comments! I'm sure your little boy is just fine - if he smiles at you then I don't think there's anything to worry about. And yes it's much too young for him to be playing with rather than alongside other kids.

Thanks for your replies and reassurance. I should have said, he is an only child. We go to plenty of classes when I'm not working and he's brilliant at sharing (I wasn't expecting him to be, although like you have both he's much too young understand playing with others.

Some comments get hard to brush off when you hear them repeatedly!

OP I get comments about my DD not smiling ALL the time. She is 22 months old and currently also an only (no. 2 due in a few months). Complete strangers comment when they smile at her and she doesn't smile back and friends have mentioned it too. It does get me down a bit. She smiles and laughs constantly at home but is very wary around strangers and is just not naturally gregarious around people she doesn't know. She has settled in well with her childminder and is generally very smiley and giggly with her but still a bit quiet around other kids at play centres etc. I think I am a bit over sensitive but it gets a bit wearing when you hear a comment refrain of "Oh she's so serious" etc. I'm not sure what I'm expected to do - she has a temperament she was born with and I can't make her smile if she doesn't want to

You just have to smile sweetly and reply sagely "Oh yes, it's a sign of great intelligence, you know!" to whatever bloody cheeky unsolicited criticisms comments you receive from people who should mind their own business

One thing you might consider is whether this nursery is the right place for him - if he smiles at home and not there, maybe he just doesn't like it much? (Speaking as someone who has moved their dc from a nursery he was unhappy at and he flourished at the next one)

Exactly - he's a child not a puppet, I can't make him smile! I have considered replying with 'oh, he only smiles for people he really likes' but I'm not sure that would go down to well.

I did consider moving him as I thought 5 months to settle was a bit too long buy for the past couple of weeks he's been singing and waving at the window so I'm reluctant to move him now.

Thanks ladies - was beginning to worry I was a bit 'blinkered' and missing something everyone could see.

I'd be keeping a close eye on him over the next few months and see if you think nursery is right for him if he seems quite different there than at home.
My son is no different really at nursery than at home.

Maybe they're trying to tell you he doesn't seem happy, but they can't come out and say it.

I worked with a baby who never smiled when with is. She was a very serious little poppet. Fast forward 3 years I ended up working in the same preschool nursery. She was still serious but you caught glimpses of her giggling and being fine.

I had a serious dd like this. She liked to weigh people up. Def the least smiley baby in all the groups. Now a happy 10 year old. Don't worry.

Bobajob I thought the same, so I asked one of them outright (but subtly) and she was very reassuring and said some babies take longer to settle than others.

I'll keep and eye on it but it sounds like he's perhaps a little more reserved than other toddlers.

Thanks for your replies!