hi - not sure if this is the right place as fairly new to this site . here goes anyway .
Last september i hired a drama group for my daughters party for aged 4 - 8 year olds , mainly school friends and cousins.
I sent an email out letting parents know what would be happening and that parents wouldnt be allowed in the room as a show would be at the end of the hour to show parents.
A family member , ok my sister , came with her two boys 5 year old and 3 year 9 mths.
The party started and when i poked my head round twice the youngest boy was playfighting so i went in and told him two times he had to listen and no hiting , kicking, pulling or he would have to come out.
Then a knock at door , daughter aged 7 has cut lip , youngest boy had headbutted her when she tried to tell him to stop kicking her friend.
i bought him out calmly and said he had to come out because he had hurt his cousin , sister asked what happened , i told her that her youngset had headbutted my daughter and that he couldnt go back in to party room but if she wanted there was a playpark nearby and he could go and let off steam and no risk of him making a fuss and wanting to go back in room, and return later or food , she wanted him to go back into party with her , i said no , she didn't want to leave eldest boy who was still enjoying party so i understood that and i gave a party food plate to youngest boy and he spent rest of party being entertained by my DH blowing up balloons and letting them off.
I would add that originally she said she would come with her husband so she could help me and her husband watch the boys , instead he stayed home to do some jobs.
Imo the boys are a handful and the nearly four year old would reguarly pick things up and throw things, play fight other children and tbh is a real handful. i work with children and i would describe his behaviour bordering on challenging, but he can also be kind and lovely. he is not at school yet .
Since then she will reguarly bring up that i was too harsh with him by not letting him rejoin the party, criticise what i did and said to her and how i expected them to leave ,humiliated her and has obviously told her friends who totally blanked me at her sons party 3 months later
Its now got to the point that she is always "off" with me ,the latest being that she wouldnt be coming to a play park as someone from the september party was also going , because i "humiliated her " in how I behaved.
i would say i am very angry at being judged as doing something terrible when i was very calm and tried really hard when inside i was raging at my daughter being hurt and no apology or recognition of how she felt.
so now i dread seeing my family as they are so "off" with me and cant say anything to support me . Our mum wasnt there so despite knowing what i have told her and probably my sister telling her she wont offer an opinion or act as peacemaker.
i feel like i want to have nothing more to do with them but hate to fall out over childrens behaviour and they still want to see my daughter so dont really know what to do
any thoughts very gratefully recieved , thankyou for reading