4 year old laughing when someone gets hurt

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My 4 year old has recently started laughing when someone hurts themselves. I have only seen him do this with family members eg me or his little sister. Eg I bumped my head today and he started laughing in a gloating sort of manner. He has been gloating a lot generally recently eg if he thinks he has something that's better than someone else.

I find the laughter extremely upsetting and I don't know how to deal with it. Is there something wrong with him? He can be kind and loving at times so I know he can do it.

My DH laughs when someone falls....he's not lacking in empathy...a second later he's concerned...but he often just immediately laughs! I've told him and told him but he can't seem to help it...it's like reflex.

I would try ignoring him for 5 minutes after he laughs myself...if as you say it's a gloaty laugh and not one he can't help.

I'd say "We don't laugh at someone else's hurt"

And then totally ignore him. LEave the room which he is in...and don't look at him or answer him. I did this when my DD began to hit me...it was a very real and uncomfortable consequence for a small child to grasp and it worked. She's ten now and no damage to her security.

Thanks for the advice, I will try ignoring him. Part of me thinks he is just struggling to process his emotions in some way and it's coming out like this. But he is generally quite horrible at the moment - obsessed with winning, gloating at every opportunity, rude and aggressive. I know it sounds awful to describe my son as 'horrible' but honestly I feel he's acting like a spoilt brat a lot of the time. I think we've got into a bit of a rut with discipline - we used to do 1,2,3 magic but this has faded a bit recently and we've been trying to discipline using the threat of losing a favourite toy, being really strict about it and following through. But this seems to put him into a negative spiral where he reacts to us being strict with even more attitude.

I don't know what to do really, I'm exhausted trying to make him into a good person and feeling like I'm failing

Is he ok socially? At school I mean? Also, is he getting enough physical exercise? It IS hard I know. I have a DD of 7 who is crazed unless she is engaged in some crafts OR doing something very physical...if she's not doing one of those then she's tormenting her sister. It's very tiring.

My dad has been doing this from 7 months.

I wonder whether you need to do something to actively rebuild your connection? It sounds like his behaviour and your negative opinion of it might be feeding each other in a bit of a vicious circle.

Good books which address this are Calmer easier happier parenting and Playful parenting. Also the aha parenting blog.

I've read about love bombing for this kind of situation, but don't know whether it works.

Any other thoughts?

I think he is ok socially - I've watched him strike up a friendship with other children in the park off his own bat and happily play with them for an hour or so, and he has lots of friends at nursery. Nursery have not said anything to me about his behaviour.