Moody 18 months old girl

[GrannyL21]

My daughter who is mostly a happy child has over the last 4 weeks or so changed.She can go from happy to frustrated and/or crying for no apparent reason.Recently I was out with her,my husband and some friends with their children.These children were happy and doing what their parents wanted them to,but my daughter wouldn't walk in the same direction as the others and just cried when we tried to get her to change direction.However,when a couple of my friends tried to help by taking over and looking after her,she suddenly became really receptive and happy.Of course this makes me and my husband feel inadequate. Does this behaviour sound familiar to anyone else ??

An 18 month old is not capable of planning. They just respond to experiences with raw emotion.
She is trying to make sense of her environment and you and your DH in it.

Small changes in her routine, or in your mood, etc can change how she feels at that moment. She may have stomach ache, or a splinter, or a wet nappy, all any of which could make her grumpy.
Small children live in the now, not the future or past.

I find your lack of confidence and self esteem as in, ' her behaviour made my DH and myself feel inadequate ' a bit daunting. This mercurial behaviour in children is going to go on and on.
When she is a teenager she is going to listen to her Peers opinion more than yours.
When she goes to school, she may regard her Teachers word as law.
I think her behaviour is absolutely normal, but I find your response to it to be an overreaction. Sorry

Oh its very familiar, we have a 20month old and we live next door to MIL and in her house, no chairs are climbed on, rubbish is thrown in the bin and cakes are left alone on the table - basically he behaves brillinatly and exactly as told to. In our house things can be very different.

But thats how kids are, at home / with parents they are learning and testing boundaries and developing themselfs and their minds, because they are most confident and happy in their own space and with their parents. Just give lots and lots and lots of praise and attention when she does what you want and let it go when she doesnt, and dont take it to heart that she behaves for others, you must have taught her that after all.

Mine is 19mo and this sounds very familiar. I think in our case it's frustration re communicating, and of course raw emotion. We try to articulate simply how she is feeling.. And also to warn her, ie we are going to go this way soon, ok now we are going this way

She's only a baby really in the first throes of independence. It's called being a frustrated toddler and shouldn't make you feel inadequate it's normal