Bedwetting

[Bahh]

Bit of an umbrella term basically but we're currently trying to get SD4.5 to go dry at night. She's stopped wearing pull ups and has had a few nights in a row being dry during the week at her mums over the last fortnight, but I'm a bit worried because since she stopped wearing the pull ups she's wet herself during the day 3 times with us? She's never done this as long as I've known her (1.5 years) but 3 times in the last week (we have her every weekend) seems odd and must be related to giving up pull ups? She says that she just forgets she needs to go and then it just happens. But as I say it's never happened until now.

Any tips?

Please just go with the flow ( no pun intended) and don't get too upset about this situation. She is not old enough to rationalise, as in, 'if I don't wet my pants everyone's life would be easier'
Something has upset her. Perhaps it is very important that she is dry at night. Too important maybe ? Your words' are after all, ' we are trying to get her to go dry at night ' Perhaps the pressure has been too much.

She can't articulate about what exactly is making her do this as she is not an adult. So as she can't explain succinctly, what she needs is patience and understanding. After all, a few wet pants, what's that?

In exchange for your forbearance she gets over this bit without feeling too much of a failure. She probably will sense your concern.

This phase will pass. Everything passes. I have brought many DCs to adult hood and they made progress in the wee department, then regressed, then made progress. It is utterly normal behaviour.

OR a big deal can be made of her pants wetting, which ends up in her feeling anxious, which then leads to more pants being wet.

You could check that she hasn't got a urine infection as well.

Otherwise, it's really no big deal. Relax and enjoy her.

Has she been drinking less than usual to help her stay dry, either at your instigation (maybe even subconciously) or her own? That can irritate the bladder and confuse the signals.

Apart from that, everything hole said basically. I don't think you need to worry, just ride out the phase, make sure she is drinking plenty until teatime, and yes consider getting a urine infection ruled out. Encourage her to go for a wee if she starts doing a wee dance, stay relaxed in dealing with it.

I also agree that IF there is a lot of pressure to be dry at night, that pressure could spill over into daytime accidents. And a sensitive child can feel that pressure just by being given a sticker chart. That may not be the case here, of course.

Thanks for the input. I may not have been clear, by worried I mean specifically because it's come about at this time, I was wondering if it might be an emotional thing and that she's wetting because she's anxious about the night time, which you've confirmed may be the case. It's no trouble to me to wash up after, I just want to make sure she's feeling okay. We only know about the daytime wetting by chancing upon the clothing, she doesn't say anything herself. Last weekend I took her to the park for about three hours and only one hour after getting home did we notice she'd changed clothes because the others were soaking. I felt awful, we were only two minutes away from home and if I'd known I'd have brought her back straight away. But the knowledge that it's probably just a phase is good, I guess I'm thinking about how to know when it's a bit more than that and she might need some support or something, I dunno. Like I say, just want her to be okay and comfy etc.

I don't know how her mum approaches it but we're quite chilled, it's really just a 'yay, well done!' if dry and a 'aw well, we try again tonight!' if not. Or should we not address it at all? She seems very hung up on it being a 'big girl' thing not to wet the bed, but doesn't seem too upset if she does wet.

Another thing I wanted to ask was is it best to wake them up during the night to wee in these early stages of dry attempts, or do we just leave her and she develops some control on her own?

Ps. As with drinking, she drinks as normal until 6/7pm. Her bedtime is 8pm. Should we be letting her drink right up til bedtime?

I tried lifting them at night but it had a mixed outcome. You could try it but don't be too disappointed if it doesn't work.
I reckon you have the right approach if you are laid back.
You seem very nice and she is lucky to have someone so concerned about her.
She is only a little girl and there has probably been a lot on her emotional plate.
X

Lifting is not recommended by the experts as it can get DC used to weeing in their sleep, which you don't want to encourage! If you must, wake her up fully first. But consistency is key so you need a joint approach with her mum.

Stopping drinking an hour or 2 before bedtime is fine.

Give her the opportunity for a wee every couple of hours in the daytime and encourage her to go at breaktime in school. Regular damp pants can be a pain because IME DC get so used to it, damp pants become normal and they can stop noticing they are wet. So be relaxed in your approach but do address it, and don't forget it could be a UTI.