Practical help pls with v active 5 yr olds - Sorry Long!!

[kizzie]

Hi - as some of you know Ive got 5 yr old DS Twins. At the moment I feel as though Ive just given birth - everything seems so uncertain and challenging (if that makes sense.) Its as though we've entered a new stage that Im totally unprepared for (ok I know this really doesnt make sense.)

Anyway after another difficult evening where I felt so wound up and was v worried about losing my temper Ive decided its time to start again and try and improve things - so Id really appreciate any tips advice....

1/ What do you do between home time and bed. i really feel that getting a better routine might help so would be interested to hear what types of things others do.

2/ I was thinking of making a chart with a list and pictures of a few nice things that we are planning to do in the near future. So rather than the negative 'if you dont behave you aren't going to do such and such' we could look at the pictures a/ as a distraction b/ something positive to focus on.
Does this sound like a vaguely good idea?

3/ When they are really hyper/fighting etc etc Ive just started putting a clock in front of them and saying that they have to sit quietly until the big hand is on number 10 or whatever. Are there any other similar techniques?

Emmmm - Ive got so many questions but this will just go on for ever. Any tips very very gratefully received.

Thankyou!
Kizziex

I negotiate most things like if you do this for me we can what you like . I also plan things for after preschool rather than straight back home

Hi Kizzie, I don't have twins, but have very active 3 & % year olds. Between home time and bed, I try to tire them out as much as possible, in the garden or park if weather is nice or a short walk across the fields, then home, supper, short video, story milk and bed. Bath every other night.

I like your idea of a chart, maybe collect stickers, things to do with the activity in advance as well?

I also like your idea on fighting. Mine argue a lot but don't usually get violent. If things are getting fraught, I usually try and distract them with a new activity, something fairly quiet, watering the garden, icing and decorating fairy cakes are fairly absorbing activities, and something completely different from what they were doing before.

Good luck!

Good lord kizzie, one 5yo misbehaving was bad enough, I can't imagine coping with 2! Delightful though I'm sure they are too I'm a great star chart fan as they've always worked really well for us (my ds is 6.5 now and STILL likes them) so yes to the chart. We give 3 stars a day, one for being good getting ready for school, one for in between school and bed time and the last for being good about going to bed. Distraction also works, I agree, and making things into a competition or race too sometimes works for us (though you've got to be careful with that one if they don't like losing, could make things worse!) Boys do need a lot of exercise and letting off steam time imo so could you go to the park on the way home? I can't imagine my ds would ever have paid the slightest bit of attention had I put a clock in front of him but if it works for you, go for it!

Hi Kizzie,
Know exactly how you feel, I've got 5yo DS twins as well. School just doesn't wear them out one bit!!
I just try to take them to places where they can run about safely, and burn off loads of energy(still doesn't wear them out though).
So far this week they have been out for tea to the pub(mine and DH's 8th anniversery), about a 20 minute walk there and back. They ran all the way!!!!Swimming, late night shopping in town,walked to the library(15 minutes there and back). Ball pits are a good one if it's too wet for the park or a walk. We also do lots of painting, craft, cookery, and since the weather has improved, playing in the garden with sand/bikes/general digging.
Also, for about 3 months now I've been giving them IQ Omega3 oils, which I think has calmed them a bit, they seem less naughty and easier to reason with.
They have also started getting pocket money for "helping Mummy", they make their bed in the morning, keep their play room tidy, and must get dressed/ undressed, when told to do so.They want to go to town to the "Bear Factory",to make their own bear once they have saved enough.

Thankyou!!! I was really hoping that someone would have replied when I logged back in.

One thing that sticks out initially from your messages is that I need to do more with them BEFORE we go home. Ive been feeling very guilty that i cant kepp them occupied/happy/undercontrol for a few hours after school at home but maybe Im expecting too much from them and me.

My DS works in leisure industry and is out every evening so we dont have the 'daddy will be home soon' scenario and this is also probably part of it.

Thanks for all your suggestions - I have been thinking of fish oils and think Ill definately do the star charts. We did use them to great effect when they were playing up at school - one of them in particular really responded well to it.
Think Ill copy your system WWW if you havent copyrighted it

I feel so awful getting so wound up about it all. Feel very guilty that not enjoying my time with them more (they were IVF babies) but they really are a handful.

Anyway - thanks again!
Kizziex

Hi Kizzie,
Don't feel too guilty about getting wound up, mine are the light of my life, but can be so trying, and the "too much energy" factor plays a big part in it. I dare not let them get bored, as their always looking for mischif, their time needs to be managed completely. However, when they do get occupied in something, I just leave them to get on with it,as it's a bit of a break for me.

This sounds abit out the blue but
flora put fish oil in there marg - in case you have to disguse taste etc.
I also like the three star idea ( we are fine when Dh is here but when he is on op shift night time routine goes out the window so this could be good