14 YEAR OLD BOY WHO STAYS OUT AFTER MIDNIGHT EVEN ON A SCHOOL NIGHT

[EvaAnn73]

I am at my wits end. My son is 14 & I had to remove him from an inner city school as he was constantly in trouble with bad company. I got him a tutor to home educate him & hoped he had turned the corner. Now he cusses me, ignores my requests & goes out without permission til the middle of the night...has been arrested twice in 3 months for aggressive behavior towards me & for affray.

I can't cope & am seriously considering putting him in care. I have nobody who is helping me & he is making me sick with worry for his future.
Please..any advice.

That must be so hard. I haven't got anything to offer but didn't want you to go unanswered.

Don't really know who could help. Have you tried Parentline?

Thanks you for caring.
I am willing to try anything as I feel he is going to end up as a statistic when he has so much going for him if only he wasn't constantly making bad choices.

Is his Dad around? Just wondering what he says, if he sees him.

His father died a long time ago. I have a few role models but everybody is so busy nowadays. They speak to him..he is very charming & does the complete opposite within days reverting by to type!
Moving is not a realistic option.
Is this the behaviour exhibited by modern teenagers whereby it is acceptable to defy their parents & simply do as they like regardless of consequence?
I am bending over backwards & seriously about to snap.

Oh Eva really feel for you. Mine are younger so haven't got any experience, sorry. How are things tonight?

It is 7am & he is refusing to get up. I had to call around to find him last night then I felt it best to go pick him up. It was 1030pm when he had a 7pm curfew.
Trying to meet him halfway. I have a psychotherapist friend who has offered to talk to him next week.
I am already stressed & the day hasn't even begun.
I think I will call SS to see if I can get some support from them.

Sorry no advice, but maybe you should try posting on the Teenagers board? You might get more help there.

Thanks..I will try that now...have to find a way.

Before you go to SS, which kind of makes things seem more serious and 'official', maybe try some of the many charity support organisations.

Here is a link to ChildLine, which gives some information, but you may need to go to the NSPCC web site to get more useful help.

I notice you have only recently joined MN, presumably for this specific problem.

Have a look at my MN Profile (click on my name), and I'll look back sometime to see how you are getting on.

Sorry! HERE is the ChildLine link:

www.childline.org.uk/Pages/InformationForAdults.aspx

Good luck.

Is there another school that he could go to? At least you would get some support then.

I'm not going to be terribly helpful, I'm afraid. Just wanted to tell you that when I volunteered in youth corrections there were a lot of kids there with a bereavement, normally a sibling or parent. I think the impact of bereavement on children is massively underrated. I don't know if that will make you feel better because he is just doing what children who have been bereaved do, or worse because it is very serious.

Maybe talk to someone here www.childbereavementuk.org/support/

Thanks for all your replies.

There has been no bereavement...he is simply under the influence of bad company & making very bad choices which could result in dire consequences.

I will look on the other sites.

I removed him from school as they had written him off & were threatening to exclude him & send him to a Pru establishment which I believe is the last step before prison.

There must be more the state can do to help teenage boys from solid family backgrounds who are in danger of ruining their live with bad choices.

The PRU isn't that bad. A PRU school is set up to give you both support. There are a few MNers who went to a PRU and are glad for it, I think you need to find out more about it.