DD (3) wetting herself on purpose - any experience?

[Cumberlover76]

DD is 3 and have been pretty much potty trained for some time. She is full time at nursery and has been since 11mo. She loves nursery and is very happy there. We have been going through phases of her seemingly wetting herself on purpose.

She knows to go to the toilet or use the potty and sometimes will be fine with it. Other days she will wet herself on numerous occasions, even if the potty is right in front of her or you have just asked her if she needs the toilet. It is like she is doing it on purpose.

At home and nursery we have tried sticker/reward charts and sometimes this works. At home we have tried talking to her asking her why, rewards for not doing it and telling her off but none of it seems to have a long term impact. We have tried putting her back in pull ups but she doesn't bother at all then and just wees in them.

I'm of the mind that she is still only 3 and will grow out of it, but it's frustrating and she keeps weeing on the sofa and in the car. DH is frustrated and worried as we don't know why she's doing it.

Has anyone had similar experience, any help greatly appreciated.

I would get her checked out in case she has a UTI which can cause urgency.

If not and she is doing it on purpose I would totally ignore and be matter of fact about it and she will soon stop.

I think sometimes they just can't be bothered going to the toilet and they don't realise that you can't just wish away wees and poos and make them disappear! Also if children are concentrating on something they may not feel they need to go until it's too late. They find it impossible to divide their attention at that age. So she's probably not exactly doing it on purpose

Yes that's another cause.

Mine is nearly 3 and again potty trained for some time. She has also done this a lot and the only thing that has ever worked is telling her off and putting her on time out. This goes against every single bit of advice out there but I tried it all several times, and she's been dry since she was 2; I'd ignore, say it was no biggie, get her to take responsibility I.e. Get clean knickers etc and I'd find my chilled approach always led to it happening several times more that day or week. She seemed to think it was a licence not to bother anymore. So then I'd get cross and say it was not ok and give her a firm talking to, and suddenly she'd be dry again for weeks and weeks.

The advice is to make no drama of it and I absolutely tried that again and again but it just didn't work. When its a genuine accident she cries straight away and I never say anything, I get her to the loo, tell her it's ok, and we move on. But when it's laziness she tends to just go 'oh dear I'm wet, never mind'....and then it will happen another three times that day until I get strict. Once I get cross, voila, she is dry again. She is being a real little madam in general at the moment and this seems to be part of it from time to time. She keeps refusing the loo if she's doing something more interesting and I insist on it, at which point she'll do a huge wee....when I let her get away with not going, there is always an accident.

It's tough isn't it! Really envy those who are dry in a week and never look back!

what helped with my dd was to make her responsible for dealing with accidents, she had to stop what she was doing, go to the bathroom, try and empty her bladder on the loo, then take her wet clothes off and put them in the washing basket and dress herself in fresh clothes....soon became a lot less hassle for her to go to the loo in the first place