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Behaviour/development

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5 year old daughter declining party invites.

3 replies

BringBackPacers22 · 21/04/2015 18:36

Hi, My DD2 started reception at school in September. Since then there has been a steady stream of invitations. DD1 always accepted every invitation that she could, but recently when I tell DD2 that she has had another invite she just shrugs her shoulders and says 'they aren't really my friend, I don't want to go.' In fairness some of the recent invitations are probably reciprical ones, as she did choose to 'blanket' invite all the girls in her class to her joint birthday party plus she has no shortage of friends. So the question is do I call her bluff and decline the invitations and live with the consequences if she kicks off if and when she realises she has missed out of attending or do I put it down to part of the contrary phase she is going through and accept, in the anticipation that she changes her mind on the day. ( I did decline one in preschool that she said she didn't want to go to, but it was from a boy who was off to another school so there was no reminder of the party from other friends nearer the time.) Fire away, I'm a strong cookie.

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Singleandproud · 21/04/2015 18:45

It's a difficult one, my DD is similar and there was a party over Easter she didn't want to go. I'm not as worried about her kicking off because she's quite laid back but more about missing the shared experience, the chatting about what happened at the party the following week and the bonding with the other children that she's going to spend the next several years.

BringBackPacers22 · 21/04/2015 23:28

I think that's what I'm worried about too Single. Plus she has a habit recently of changing her mind and then saying that she was only joking in the first place. I may try and delay responding and see if she changes her mind by herself, but don't want to keep the hosts waiting too long for an answer.

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Vijac · 23/04/2015 22:51

At that age, unless she has party anxiety or similar, I think it would be easiest to not involve her in future party decisions. Just get the invite, respond and then say on the Friday 'you've got x's party tomorrow'. As you would with other weekend decisions. But I guess if she has very strong opinions on who her friends are then maybe you need to do it differently?

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