20 month old refusing food

[Evanna13]

I wonder if anyone can offer advice. My 20 month old eats very little, he will eat bread, occasionally eggs, apples and yogurts but that's about it. He used to eat more things such as pasta, carrots, peas, cheese, strawberries, ham, bananas, sweet potatoes but won't touch these now. I gave him some vegetables yesterday and he tasted them but then spat them out. Most of the time he just says 'no' and asks for milk. He loves milk and would drink it all day long if I allowed it. He only wants it in a bottle too and gets upset when I give it to him in a sippy cup. I try not to give him too much milk as I want to leave space for food but I do give more than I should. Apart from the food issue he is a happy toddler, he is a normal weight and is very rarely ill. I am really worried about nutrition with him and I do not want him to get into bad eating habits. I know if I gave him scones, cake, chocolate etc he would devour them but I will only offer these as a very occasional treat. On average he might eat 2 slices of bread per day and I do not feel this is sufficient for his needs as a growing toddler but I just do not know what to do as he refuses everything else. Even if I put puréed veg on the bread he will not eat it.

How is your eating? What I would do in your place is try to change the environment - prepare a meal, sit your son down at the table, preferably in a high chair that is at the table (or booster seat), eat your food, let him watch you eat and don't make a fuss over it. Put a small portion for him, give it to him and let him touch it with his hands, and don't say anything. If he puts it in his mouth great, if not just clear up. Give him water in a beaker that he can lift himself and drink from. Forget about purée.

How is your diet? What times do you eat?

Thanks for the advice, I think my diet is quite good. I eat a wide variety of foods including plenty of vegetables, fish , meat etc. i usually have a sandwich or salad for lunch and make a home cooked meal every evening such as lasagne, baked salmon etc. I am a sahm so he is with me all day and sees me cooking and eating.
I have a high chair for him but it is not at the table, it is beside the table. He hates it and most of the time he is so upset by the time he is strapped in that he will not eat and I have to take him out again pretty quickly.
I will try a booster seat at the table and I hope this will work. I will do as you suggest with this.
I really feel that I am at my wits end with him and it is so upsetting. From the time he started weaning I have always prepared his food from scratch. He was never an amazing eater but did used to eat most things such as chicken casserole, beef stew etc when they were puréed. Now he would not touch them puréed, mashed or chopped.
I really worry about his nutrition and I know toddlerhood is such an important time for developing healthy eating habits. He has been this fussy for approx 2 months now.

It's very difficult. I'm a child minder and have gone through this process over and over again. He doesn't need purée anymore, just small bits that he can pick up with his fingers. It's very messy, but worth a try. Don't try to feed him with a spoon, even soup - just give him a small bowl of soup and bread to dip in. Humours with bread sticks. If he gets upset as soon as you sit him in the high chair, just try to keep him on your knees when you eat, so he can touch your food. Touch is so important at that age. Let him play with the food, and eventually some will go in.

My eldest son was extremely difficult when a baby, weaning was a nightmare. Very emotional and difficult for me and I have cried over it many times. I know it's easier said than done, but if you try to show him to enjoy food, he can watch you eat and touch your food. Hopefully it will help. At 20 months he can eat pretty much anything except not too much salt. Good luck!

Thanks so much for your reply. Yes I do think touch is so important for him so I will try to ignore the mess.
Fingers crossed he will start eating more.

Much, much less milk. He can't live off milk for the rest of his life, he needs to transition to solids, and if he's being this fussy he needs to be hungrier to do that. If you get a booster seat don't make the mistake of letting him think that's as negotiable as the high chair it's just going to be the latest power struggle. You decide what to cook, he decides whether to eat it. But no alternatives if he turns his nose up.