Please reassure me DS will be ok when I return to work?

[mickeymoose]

DS is 8 months and I'm due to return to work this summer, so he will be in nursery or at a childminders a couple of days, and looked after by my dad a couple of days.

My dad has looked after him a couple of times (and has assured me it went fine after some initial crying), but whenever my dad visits DS doesn't seem that comfortable. He cries when picked up and gets really hysterical. Sometimes he just doesn't settle for the rest of the visit, even if I'm holding him or nearby. This has also happened when my brother picked him up, but he isn't like that with my mum (who he sees less often), so I'm wondering whether he doesn't like men. (There is nothing scary or unusual about my dad btw. He perhaps is a bit reserved, but otherwise just a normal cheery person.)

Consequently I'm really worried about my return to work. If he is like that with my dad, what will he be like at nursery? I've booked a nursery, but really wanted a childminder. However, there are hardly any with spaces and the couple that do have spaces aren't a good fit.

Please reassure me this is going to be ok, it's really getting me down. We haven't even hit the separation anxiety phase yet.

It really will be fine! 8m is an age when they can begin to develop separation anxiety and in any case his behaviour with others when you're around is bound to be different to when he is with others independently of you.

I won't lie - the first few days or even weeks will probably be quite tough unless you are really lucky. Nursery will be fine if it's a good one - both my DC went from 10m and there was a huge investment in time and effort to settle new starters. They were prepared for the children to be unhappy initially and to give as many cuddles as it took. Both mine were fine within a month.

It is hard but it will be ok.

Thank you. Although I know to some extent it is "normal", it doesn't seem to make it any easier. I guess it is just something we are going to have to get through.