Toddler better behaved at nursery. Why?

[Chickz]

Hello. Hope you can help. My 18month old dd a very high needs. Meets a lot of Dr Sears description. Very sensitive and emotional. Loud. Energetic. Won't sit still. Cried and tantrums a lot.
Anyhow she is much better behaved at nursery. Where she is described as being very chilled and easy going.
When I tell nursery staff what she is like at home, they are in disbelief. Whilst I am glad that she is happy at nursery, it does make me wonder where I am going wrong. I scratch my head every day.
I give her lots of attention as she demands it -and also ignore if she cries for no reason but always stay close and try to distract. I am firm when she does something dangerous or naughty.
Where am I going wrong?
Is it because she feels safe at home so lashes out?
But how how how can her behaviour go from one end of spectrum to another?

I should also add that she is also very well behaved when being baby sat by friends and family. She is absolutely no bother at all! It's such a puzzle. Why can't she be like that with dh and I?

Yes it is. She is more attached to you.
She feels like she has to behave in a certain way for others.

And if she is anything like my dd - she will be worse after the nursery session as she is getting rid of her pent up emotion.

How many days does she go?

Thank you poocatcher hampion.
She goes three days. Hmm I thought this may be the case. Is there anything I can do?
It's so so hard.
Why would she have pent up emotion?

Anyone else have any experience of this?

It's very common. Try to see it as a good thing! I agree with poocatcher that she expresses herself with you in a way that she can't at nursery. Her bond with you means that she trusts you enough to express uncomfortable emotions. She cannot do this with people she knows less well.

Pent up emotions come from all sorts of different things. We all do this almost all the time - storing up our true feelings because we can't express them for one reason or another. It could be all sorts of things, nothing 'serious' per say, but all significant in the day of a toddler - her key worker not being there, separation from you, feeling misunderstood, an altercation with another baby, etc. all little things, all needing to be expressed with the safety of mummy and daddy at the end of the day.

You're not doing anything wrong! Just the opposite in fact.

My ds will be 3 in june and im at my wits end with his behaviour, its a nightmare. Was convinced of autism etc but has started playgroup every morning and he's an angel! they look at me as if everything I warned them about was made up!.