Sleep: What am I doing wrong?

[maskingtherealme]

I am 'lucky'. I have a DS aged 3 who loves his sleep. He has been a good sleeper from birth. Unfortunately my 6 week old DD is not.

She will happily sleep in my arms, sometimes in the swing and in her carseat when we're in the car. But as soon as I put her down in her Moses Basket, she wakes. She is so unsettled, thrashy and crying until she is picked up. I have tried her cotbed which was a massive fail and even the Moby Wrap is falling out of favour. The bouncer is also a big 'no-no'.

It would be nice to be able to have a shower without her screaming, to go to the toilet, to even get a friggin drink of water without her crying and being unsettled. Don't get me wrong, I love my DD and our cuddles but I feel tied to her 24/7. I feel my DS is being neglected. I know a baby cannot be 'spoiled' with cuddles and it's important for them but it is as though I am doomed to stink, look hideous and live in a tip for the next God-knows how many months!!!

The odd thing is, she sleeps so well during the night and yes, she is only 6 weeks old. She still wakes for bottle about 3am(ish) but it is the only time in the night she wakes (10pm and 6am are the other times). From waking in a morning to going to bed at night she won't sleep, she snoozes; wakes very easily.

So can someone tell me what am I doing wrong or what do I need to try that I haven't already?

Sounds pretty normal for a 6 week old unfortunately and actually unusually good sleeping for nighttime. If you had said a 6 month old then I'd be worried! My 5 month old still often prefers to nap in my arms although she is transitioning much better now to her crib.

At this phase when my DD was only 6 weeks and DS was 3 (same age gap), I had her in the sling a lot of the time. Especially from 2 months where she just had got past that newborn 'sleep anywhere' age but hadn't yet transitioned well to sleeping on her own. The sling was a lifesaver because it meant I coul have lunch, play with DS, get him his bath and all that without her screaming at me.

And I still feel like I'm neglecting poor DS who is now 3.5 because she is still very demanding and doesn't nap more than 30-40 minutes during the day!

Just saw you are using a Moby Wrap (sorry pretty sleep deprived here!) - maybe try a different sling? My DD didn't really like the Moby either but loved the Ergo carrier.

Thanks. Feeling reassured as many have told me it is normal but with a DS who was addicted to sleep at the same age, it is difficult to 'come to terms with' that it IS in fact normal.
I am going to re-try the Moby Wrap tomorrow and see if she will nap in it. Problematic times are when she is awake. She doesn't want to be anywhere flat but even the bouncer is too flat for her so it is generally back in my arms.

30-40 minute naps are normal as is not wanting to be put down for sleep in a Moses basket.

It's hard, but there's nothing to fix here, you just just need coping strategies.

Re the not wanting to be flat... Reflux? My LO was like that at 6 wks, down to the waking up at drop of a feather!

You say she thrashes, have you swaddled her?