how long does it take to put your children to bed?

[rhetorician]

at the end of my tether with mine - 3 and 6. They go up to bed at 7, read stories, and then once they are in bed, I tell them a couple of stories. In theory then it's lights out and settling down to sleep. But we have endless chatting and knock-knock jokes etc etc. To be fair, they are at least in their beds. But whilst I could leave the 6 yo to it, the 3yo just cries and demands I sit on her bed and I can't leave. So despite going up to bed at 7, they are still awake (with me in the room - I'm typing this because DP has stepped in) at 8.30...they get up at 7, both have full days at school/nursery. Why don't they just fall asleep?

What I'd like is to leave them at 8 and for that to be it. Any ideas? It's driving me nuts - I don't mind staying until they fall asleep if it doesn't take hours and hours.

I have so BTDT.

I will sit with them but mandate 100% verbal silence & no thumping anything either. In the pitch black dark ideally.

we have curtains with blackout stuff but there's a fair bit of light coming in. Mind you, it was more or less the same when it was the winter, it's just half an hour later now . I know they will grow out of it and in a year's time they'll be telling me to go away and I will be sad (will I? surely not?) but well, ...

It isnt going to change unless you tackle it.So start tomorrow. Do they share a room? If so, 3yo to bed half an hour before the 6yo and the deal is you sit with them til their sibling comes to bed then that is it you leave.

You say you cant leave - you can. And you should. It will be hard, but a few nights of sternness will sort it.

I have a 4.5 year old and a 13 month old. They have a bath about 6.30pm. I get the little one out first and get him in his pyjamas then the 4yo.
Once they're out and dressed they can have a story or watch TV downstairs while the 1yo has his milk. Brush both their teeth.
Little one in bed by 7.30pm.
Big one has 15-20 minutes to read school books or play a board game, then I read him a bedtime story in my bed and he's in bed by 8pm.
They share a room. I don't stay with either of them, they get a goodnight kiss and I leave the room.
They both wake up about 7am.

It takes me an hour to put my dd age 4 to bed. I have to sit at the foot of her bed until she drops off. Sometimes she drops off quickly, other times she bounces on the bed and generally messes about. If I go downstairs she comes after me and cries. Or she empties her wardrobes and messes up her bedroom. It's so draining and ruins my evening. My other children age 8 and 11 have always been great sleepers. Sorry op to rant on your thread but I really sympathise with you and will be listening out for any good advice.

I've just started using sleep cd's ( like meditation) they tell a relaxing story and then, on one the sounds of the sea. I'm having good results with it for a nightmare sleeper! Search on amazon

ThinkIveBeenHacked you are right! I feel like I can't - 3yo is extremely strong willed, and will have to battle with her to get her to go to bed before 6yo. But I will try

I've always been fairly strict about bedtime as I need some child-free time in the evenings. I've never given me staying as an option.

bobajob - I don't even know how it started - we never used to and it was fab. 6yo might sometimes call us for something, but nothing major. I think maybe a grandma was here and sat with her...anyway, we need to move on!

2.5 year old...upstairs at 6 for a drink of milk, PJs, wash and quiet time, into his room at about 6.45 for a couple of books, usually leave the room at 7.15 and he's asleep soon after. There is however a lot of procrastination involved in all of this! This is only after a week of 'rapid return' when it was previously taking an extra hour or two on top of that! He always wanted me to stay with him, but he goes to sleep much quicker on his own now, so better all round.

I have a nearly 6 year old and a 3.5 year old (plus a 12 week old but she doesn't have a bedtime yet).

We go up at 6pm for bath. Clean teeth in bath then out by 6.30pm. PJs on, stories/cuddles all together for 20 minutes then last wees, into bed, lights out, one song each, kisses and hugs and I leave the room at 7pm. They're usually asleep by 7.15pm (little one sometimes before I've left the room).

My 3.5 yr old is in bed & tucked up between 7 and half past. Generally he is tired & will go to sleep within about 10 mins. There's no messing etc as we laid very clear ground rules from the day he went into a bed.

His dad stays with him till he falls asleep. I refuse to & linger outside his room doing jobs like sorting the washing, or take a few minutes lying on our bed relaxing. It has zero effect on how long he takes to drop off.

Dh knows I think he's made a rod for his own back & is regretting it now we have a new baby & ds1 is waking in the night & expects dh to stay then too.

I think it demonstrates that often they take as much as they can get and you can change the story if you want to by being firm. Decide what you think the routine should be & stick to it. I'd be tempted to get 3 yr old down & have quiet time with 6yr old for 30 mins. I've found bribery star charts have worked well with my son.

We had this too. We just got tough on it. Originally we had to read him to sleep. Moved to one story then sit with him until he sleeps. Now he gets one story then we put music on (lullabies done classically). I tell him I have to go and have a cup of tea but will check on him later. He didn't like it at first but soon accepted that was how it was. It helped that we have a new baby who was fine about sleeping on his own so I think ds thought he probably should too!

I have 6yo and nearly 3yo, bedtime routine is usually 40-50 mins:
Bathtime 15mins
Getting into PJs/brushing teeth 5 mins
Stories 20-30 mins

After stories I say goodnight to DD1 and take DD2 to tuck in to bed in her room.

I go downstairs after that, usually 8pm. They both go to sleep on their own, DD1 may play in her room quietly after lights out but will always put herself to sleep after 20 mins or so.

My 3 year old goes upstairs, brush teeth, pjs on. I then read one story and leave her to read books in bed. I take her upstairs at 7, leave her bedroom about 7.10 and she's normally asleep by 7.30.

My 20 month old, on the other hand, is a different story!

I have a 1.5 year old and a 3.5 year old. They both go up to bed at 8pm and are asleep by 8:01. I can count on one hand the number of times either haven't gone straight to sleep and that is usually down to soiled nappy/illness.

Either we have amazing sleepers or we stumbled on the best ever sleep training. Routine is bath/pyjamas, milk then story, teeth and goodnight routine. all downstairs. Both get taken up together, big dramatic good night scene then dump and run

Honestly it has worked for both since tiny babies. we never hang about in their rooms once in bed. Did the whole bedtime story in bed routine with eldest when a baby and it just made home want more and more so we cut it out and do it earlier.

Both me and husband need sleep and chill out time so this works best for us.