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Behaviour/development

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4 Year Olds Behaviour

1 reply

chocolate12345 · 13/04/2015 10:35

Hi all,

I'm looking for abit of help on my 4 year old daughter. I'll start with abit of background! I'm a single mum of 2 girls, eldest is 4 and youngest is 2. There's 23 months between them. They don't have any contact with their dad so on the parent front - it's just me.

I'm having some problems with my eldests behaviour. She moans..all the time.. about absolutely everything. If I give her a spoon, it's the wrong spoon. If she has a biscuit, it's the wrong one. When I put dinner out, it's on the wrong plate. She doesn't listen to a word I say. Her attitude is awful and she talks back to me all the time. I try and talk about her behaviour and she says that shes not listening and puts her fingers in her ears. It seems to be getting worse and now her nursery have said that they are finding that she's behaving similarly there when previously there have been no problems there. My youngest has recently moved into the same group as her sister and it seems to be linked with that timing wise. It's not a big nursery so seperating them isn't an option. Eldest is due to start school in September.

Discipline wise, I've tried the naughty step, and removing toys but nothing seems to work. If I ask her to sit on the bottom step, she'll sit on a different one just to push me more.

I'm drained by the constant moaning and whining and her poor behaviour pushing me and I don't know what to try next. It's so frustrating because she can be absolutely lovely and play so nicely with her sister but more often than not, every day is filled with whinging.

I'd be grateful for any help of advice...

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ppeatfruit · 13/04/2015 13:37

Speaking as an ex EY teacher CM\nanny M of 3. I reckon she's jealous of the L.O. it's normal, also she 'll be changeable, we all are.

I'd take her out on her own and really listen to her , she sounds unhappy, punishment won't work. Maybe try the positive reinforcement ;so when she 's not moaning (whatever she's doing) praise her. When she moans ignore,ignore ,ignore. Grin I'd play games with them , get her to read (or pretend read) to you and her sister.

There's book that's called "How to Speak so your children will listen , and Listen so your children will speak" (Or something like that) That's good.

Also look at her diet if she's not eating any fresh fruit or veg. get her to arrange a pretty fruit plate after nursery and or before a meal.

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