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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Please help! Some advice really needed!

7 replies

runikka · 02/11/2006 13:01

Hi there

Going out of my mind here with worry over our little boy. He is 23 months and alarm bells are ringing!

The biggest concern is with his baby sister and other children in general. When another child cries he goes berserk, gets really upset and takes ages to calm down. I would understand this if he didn't have much contact with children but he goes to nursery and now has a sister at home. It is particularly his behaviour over her that concerns me. If she so much as wimpers it really sets him off. She has just started to babble and he takes this noise as "offensive" as well. I understood for the first month or two but now he has had plenty of time to adapt but it just doesn't get any better. We try to make sure he has plenty of cuddles and isn't left out. He gets plenty of fuss but at the same time we dont want him to think this behaviour is acceptable.

This aside he doesn't seem to understand us, he babbles but makes no real attempts at words yet. He is very very sensitive at times, clingy and just...well a worry! I love him to bits but just feel something isn't right. He used to be such a happy little chap and although we still have plenty of giggles and cheekiness he seems so much in his own little world.

Could it be just a passing phase? We have mentioned it to gps and they say so but it seems too much for too long now!

Thanks for reading!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

NotQuiteCockney · 02/11/2006 13:03

His behaviour around his sister doesn't sound that odd, to be honest.

Does he communicate? Point, grunt, whatever?

hermykne · 02/11/2006 13:04

runikka, his routine has been changed and he is trying to cope imo, start again and get some advice re new baby etc from your hv (is she good)_clingy is natural in the 1st born, and it might be another 4/6 weeksbefore he settles down.
does he get time alone with you ?

funnypeculiar · 02/11/2006 13:26

My ds went through a stage at about the same age when any baby/child crying really upset him (he'd also been at nursery 2 days/week. I was pregnant with dd, and he would have been about 22/23 months - remember him bursting into hysterical tears in a supermarket when a little baby was crying - took me about 10 mins to calm him down. By the time his sister arrived he got over it quite fast - but that may have been b/cos he was ready to 'grown out of it' so to speak - he was 25 months at that stage.

In terms of the communicating thing, do they have 2 year checks in your area? They're not always standard everywhere, but you could ask for one - covers language/gross & fine motor skills etc - might help put your mind at rest?? Language development is a funny thing - one of my brightest/most academic mates (has numerous phds etc) didn't speak til 3, then went st into full sentances!!

(PS If you find a cure for clingy & sensitive ... let me know!!)

Original poster

runikka · 02/11/2006 17:48

Many thanks for your replies. He doesn't really point but does groan if he sees a drink and wants it, gets excited when he sees people and things he likes. We have just been for an eye test as he has a lazy eye and it could be that he doesn't see things as clearly as he should, hence delaying his understanding of what things are and possibly making him more clingy to us. He also has a hearing test booked by the HV because she is concerned about his general communication skills.

He is very sensitive to his little sister and I totally appreciate that his little world has been unsettled. However, he does get time alone with us and doesn't miss out on the cuddles or play time. I also appreciate that it is upsetting when babies cry and he genuinely might not like it - who does? As he cannot tell us he doesn't like, throwing a wobbly is his only way...it's just the fact that it is so extreme and occasionally just to her making a tiny noise. She is babbling and quite loud with it but I dont really want to be trying to keep her quiet.

OP posts:

NotQuiteCockney · 03/11/2006 17:19

Hmm, it doesn't sound like he's really communicating, really trying to get information across to you, which would worry me a bit ...

coppertop · 03/11/2006 17:28

Is he generally very sensitive to noise? It sounds as though he has sensitive hearing and therefore his sister's noises are upsetting to him.

In your position I would be asking for a referral to a developmental paediatrician. The GP or HV should be able to arrange this for you.

Jimjams2 · 03/11/2006 20:32

I agree that you need to ask for a referral to a developmental paed. Lack of speech in itself isn't really a concern at his age (although worth ruling out glue ear etc- so good the hearing test is booked). The lack of pointing is something that does need to be checked though. Does he ever share things with you that he's interested in? Waiting lists are long, so worth asking for a referral now, if it all clicks in you can always cancel.

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